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THE REAL STATE OF THE UNION

January 21, 2015

We’ve entered a phase where we no longer fix problems… We pretend they’re not there. If facts are really inconvenient, we play act.

We avoid mentioning we are 18 trillion in debt. We just play like we have an excess. We even fantasize on national TV about who we might give it to.  Hey… let’s make college FREE!

"Clap your hands if you believe!" ~ from Peter Pan

“Clap your hands if you believe!” ~ from Peter Pan

 

We measure unemployment in a way massive numbers of unemployed simply dont count.

We redefine “deportations” to pretend we fixed the border.

We declare ourselves the winner of the war on terror and strut away… Leaving a bewildered and previously beaten foe in control of a battlefield he didnt earn. A battlefield paid for in the blood of U.S. patriots.

From the wisdom of a prior era:
How many legs does a dog have if you call a tail a leg?
Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg. ~ A. Lincoln

Still true. The real state of the union? Denial.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

How Muslims Can Avoid Offending Christians

January 16, 2015

LEVELING THE PLAYING FIELD

Recently read a nice bit where Oxford University Press explained that authors should avoid mention of pigs or pork or “anything else which could be perceived as pork” in order to avoid offending Muslims.

For starters, while it is possible I missed the companion articles explaining how writers could avoid offending Christians, Jews, Hindus or NASCAR fans… I suspect this might be yet another glaring example of the new sport of the left… selective sensitivity. You know, like when CNN announces they have a policy against posting “potentially offensive images of the prophet” within a few news cycles of publishing a pic of Jesus in a jar of urine.

Not exactly a consistent message, unless the message is “CNN is scared shitless of muslims”.

So in a helpful effort to level the playing field that will no doubt be as well recieved as a ham sandwich at an Islamic prayer breakfast, I’ll offer the Muslim community… {wait for it}…

HELPFUL TIPS FOR MUSLIMS to avoid offending Christians:

-1- Don’t threaten to kill them if they draw cartoons you don’t like

The cartoon industry will at times print something you don’t like. I do understand this can be offensive… I for one think new Tom & Jerry episodes suck compared to the original.

Try to remember that if your god and/or prophet needs men with AKs to defend him, it tells the rest of the world he may not be that powerful to begin with. So just cool it.

insult

-2- Do NOT kidnap and rape their daughters / small boys / livestock

This is important. When trying to portray your merry little band as members of The Religion of Peace… even showing limited support for those that engage in forcible copulation with our children and/or farm animals just sends mixed signals.

muslim porn

-3- Quit immigrating to countries then demanding they adopt your laws

We don’t give a rat’s rear that your idea of a perfect society requires that our women adhere to your 7th century dress code that insists they be covered head to toe in something akin to a death shroud. Neither are we interested in changing our diet to one of which you approve.

Hey, we don’t come to your mosque and force you to dine on Sausage McMuffins and Jack Daniels. Return the favor. If you want sharia law, move somewhere that has it.

no alcohol

-4- Do NOT demand privileges not provided to other religions

Hindus did NOT run jets into the World Trade Center, nor did Jews. Yet we offer no special no-go zones where only members of their religion can go and everyone must follow their religious tenets. Neither do we make changes to textbooks or news copy that favors their beliefs.

If we do not offer them such options, pretty sure it isn’t happening for you.

Sharia-zone-4X3

-5- IMPORTANT: Don’t behead ANYONE

You’d be shocked how many societies disapprove of having their people beheaded. It is a definite no-no if you want others to think you know how to work and play well with other children.

religion of peace

-6- Don’t burn our flag

Seriously, I have no idea where I’d even buy a flag of yours to burn. Is there a US flag shop in every Islamic enclave that sells Old Glory and lighter fluid?

Please be aware doing this only serves to make some wonder aloud if we should selectively apply large thermo-nuclear devices to your breeding grounds. I can’t speak for all future presidents… some may be ill tempered. So just stop. Ok?

Added: If you think this conflicts with Tip #1, remember that while so far we do not kill those who burn our flag, yet there are NUMEROUS examples of people killed for anti-Islam cartoons and the like. So I’m cool with either you stopping, or us starting. PICK ONE.

islam burn flag

-6- Forget the word ISLAMOPHOBIA

Everything that pisses off a Muslim is said to be “islamophobic“.  Quick English lesson. “Phobia” involves something one is scared of. We’re not scared of Islam. We are however pretty sick of it.

islamophobia-thumb-400xauto-12621(2)(1)(1)

-7- Chill the hell out

This one encompasses all that precede. Don’t tell us Islam will dominate us, don’t expect us to respect YOUR prophet, and (this one will be on the test) do NOT scream Allahu Akhbar unless you want small arms pointed your direction. This is especially crucial while on commercial aircraft.

islamic_rage_boy

BOTTOM LINE…

I attended college with many who came from Islamic nations, and most were happy to be here. Many chose to stay. But if you cannot assimilate into a country to which you move… toddle back to the third world rat-hole from whence you came.

Trust me, if you can’t peacefully join our culture, you won’t be missed.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

THE CASE FOR SHOE CONTROL

January 15, 2015

In Houston TX a woman has been convicted of murder for stabbing her boyfriend 25 times with 5 1/2“stiletto heels.

Though it is true the constitution is silent on the topic of heel length, the founders could not have envisioned a time when shoe technology would advance to this point. The development of easily carried lightweight but strong composite materials has enabled the big shoe industry to create extremely dangerous heels that were unforeseen in colonial times.

All over America, women are found in virtually any environment with these “Assault Shoes”. There is no law prohibiting it. You see them in the grocery store, theater, banks, and out on the street. And many women own dozens of pairs. Legally!

They store them openly in closets where minors might easily obtain them. There is no background check or waiting period before purchase, no limits on heel length, no age restrictions to keep them out of young hands. Girls may carry them into schools where YOUR children believe they are safe.

Nobody NEEDS 5 1/2” heels to hunt deer. They can only be used to kill PEOPLE. How many more must die because politicians fear the shoe lobby? Isn’t it time we adopted common sense measures to stop senseless proliferation of assault shoes?

If it saves just one life, is it not worth it?

Yes, I’m sure I’ll feel the wrath of the RW shoe nuts… but it had to be said!

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

CNN: Kissing Muslim Butt Since….

January 14, 2015

“CNN will not show you the new cover, which depicts the Prophet Muhammad, because it is our policy not to show potentially offensive images of the prophet,” the host declared this morning.

Meanwhile, “Pisschrist” is shown in CNN’s recent piece on controversial art.

Pisschrist on CNN site

Apparently CNN picks and chooses when they will suddenly become sensitive to religious objection.

TRANSLATION: “It is not policy for CNN to show images that’ll piss off guys that will hurt us, but otherwise we’ll claim to be 1st amendment advocates.”

There you go CNN. Fixed it for you. You’re welcome. :-)

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

How Media Choices Affect Perspective

December 15, 2014

How Media Choices Affect Perspective

Let’s see how different channels handled the recent events in Sydney.

POV
Yeah, ok… I might’ve exagerated a tad, but you get the point.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

Great Moments in Social Media: Obama Sends Troops to Fight Ebola

October 11, 2014

The Big Announcement…

great moments 1

 

 

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

ETIQUETTE TIP #107

October 10, 2014

How not to be a Dick

 

ETIQUETTE TIP #107:
Remember, the obligation to be courteous shouldn’t stop in the workplace. For example, ladies, if offered a relaxing backrub, it’s annoying when you immediately assume it’s only offered as a prelude to sex.

In the same vein, it’s just rude to respond with a barrage of questions like “Who the hell are you” or “How did you get into my house?!”.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

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