There, I came out of the closet and admitted it. But that is pretty much the only way in which not being a trophy hunter in Texas is analogous to being gay, cause being gay IS actually allowed. Heck there’s a Texas Gay Rodeo Association where one can proudly win buckles and other manly prizes while being gay in Texas.
Meanwhile, non-sport-hunters in Texas are forced to not hunt in shadowy alleys and unsavory parts of town populated by meth addicts, child molesters and Democratic ex-congressmen.
There is no Texas Non-Trophy-Hunter Association that awards us prizes for being really good at not trophy hunting. We are by binding state law reduced to the status of social pariahs. At the weekly men’s meetings, we are only served at the children’s table and not allowed to talk.
It isn’t that I don’t hunt for fun because I don’t like meat, leather or fur either. My passion for meat knows few bounds, and I love leather and fur, especially on members of the opposite sex. Nor have I ever seen the movie Bambi, so no, I’m not worried I might shoot his mom. Besides, I’m almost positive I made jerky out of Bambi’s mom a long time ago anyway. [She was delicious.]
I just don’t do it cause it doesn’t seem like fun. If we armed the animals being hunted, THEN it’d at least be a competitive sport, but getting up at a time when I normally go to bed sucks. Cold weather sucks. And frankly I hate killing things I don’t need to kill. Hell, I hate killing things I DO need to kill.*
* Possible exception, copperheads. Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure they’ll never be extinct.
That said, trophy hunting IS a legal activity. I don’t get pissy about others doing it, it just isn’t my idea of a great time for the aforementioned reasons. I’m not going to go throw paint on hunters in the name of animal rights, because of several reasons… up to and including the fact they pretty much all have guns and I’d prefer a natural death at an old age without ever having been strapped across the hood of an F-250 and driven to a processor where I become sausage.
But even if I was assured they wouldn’t shoot me, I’m not throwing any stones at the guys. I am happy to consume what they bring back, and am aware that as a group they probably contribute more to the conservation of our wildlife and environment than all the Birkenstock wearing PETA protesters combined.
I will kill for food, but currently find it a helluvalot easier to go to Kroger for meat. Should a day come that is not the case, Bambi is toast. Until then, I’ll probably just hunt with a camera. [At a decent hour. While it is warm.]
What I cannot for the life of me understand is guys that are so pissed that a lion named Cecil was killed, skinned and his head removed… when the same people defend Planned Parenthood calmly discussing similar procedures over lunch and joking about it.
I’m not even getting into the abortion discussion, I’m talking about the ghoulish behavior of turning human body parts into a product. If Joseph Mengele was a noted Democrat I guess you’d defend his work too? Pick a side, people. That’s just weird.
Last week nobody posting misty-eyed farewells to Cecil the Lion had heard of “Cecil the Lion”. Now they want to murder a dentist they’d never heard of in defense of a cat they’d never heard of. Just freakin insane.
For heaven’s sake, people, lay off the dentist. Don’t fall for every shiny thing the media puts in your path. There are just a helluvalot bigger problems in the world than a dead cat.
PC KILLS MORE US CITIZENS THAN EBOLA
A Kuwaiti born young Muslim male named Mohammad Youssuf Abdulazeez, who blogged jihad flavored rhetoric, whose father was subject of a terrorism investigation… traveled to 2 military facilities 7 miles apart to murder 4 US Marines he’d never met.
The Media and FBI are just stumped trying to find a motive.
If a fat guy steals your ice cream… would you spend much time wondering about his motive?
Personally, I’m betting he was radicalized by the NRA.
Dear knuckle dragging haters in the native American community:
We WON the Indian wars you idiots. What warped desire to cling to ancient hatred makes you insist on “celebrating your heritage” with hateful symbols like warbonnets and period attire?
Isn’t it enough that you viciously scalped our ancestors, you uneducated clods. You kidnapped our women and children and tortured survivors, so cut the “this is my heritage” crap. Face it, you’re just illiterate scum that won’t accept things have changed.
It’s high time we called a halt to your idiocy. Warbonnets and tomahawks don’t even belong in museums, you racist hicks. I vote we dig up your buried chiefs, and blow up that racist Crazy Horse monument. It’s the 21st century… time to tear down symbols of hatred like the 48ft tall statue of Chief Black Hawk, the one to Chief St Germain, the one to Osceola… Hell tear em all down.
By the way… how offensive is it our precious children are exposed to shows portraying an indian savage as a hero? I call for a ban of the Lone Ranger repeats. Better burn Last Mohican too. I mean heck… the hero in that is a savage murderer that killed lawful authorities.
While we’re at it, let’s purge the military of hateful native American influences… Apache, Sioux and Blackhack helicopters come to mind. And why are there streets named after your tribes and warriors?
Frankly as a descendant of settlers I am offended. Did you know there are actually TOY indian tomahawks for sale on Ebay and at Walmart? Why is it necessary to rub salt in the wounds even now? In your sad little racist culture is something used to murder my forebears an appropriate children’s toy?
And let’s not forget you savages had wars in which the survivors on the other side were kept as slaves. That is what divides you from us (well, except for the century+ where we had slaves of our own).
As for history books… they should be cleaned with purifying fire. They just remind people of your atrocities. If you’re included in history it should only be to point out your atrocities. There’s nothing “brave” about trying to harm our ancestors. You were little more than un-American terrorists. Much like you are now.
This is America, dammit. Get with the program! You lost. Get over it.
The Tolerant People of the USA
Unless you’re beneath a rock you know a 22 year old died July 4 when he placed a “mortar” atop his head and it exploded. He was drinking at the time, though it may have merely been a coincidence. Right?
His mom is suing for controls on explosives. Cause ya know, who knew explosives might explode?
- — Does the box mention it?
- — How big is the font?
- — Does it say NOT to launch from atop your cranial cavity?
- — Are there guards keeping it from fitting on your head?
Before getting too rough on mom, consider she might have a point, albeit backwards. Should she sue Anhauser Busch for not having a warning that the product shouldn’t be consumed while playing with deadly explosives?
Granted if that suit won we’d need MUCH larger beer bottles for all the warnings needed.
- — Do not operate motor vehicles, power tools, or trans-continental passenger jets.
- — Avoid use while making life changing financial decisions.
- — Not for use while considering matrimony.
- — Product makes really bad ideas sound great.
Then again if we made separate bottles for men and women you could get more specific, with warnings such as:
- — Men: Caution – Does NOT make you bullet proof or sexy.
- — Girls: Warning – Promises heard during consumption may be intended to loosen your morals.
It’s a well known fact that men have gone to bars, picked up a 10, awakened with a weak 4. Yet nowhere on the bottle is there a warning about this. Women have similarly been duped into any number of regrettable decisions which may be directly attributed to the malicious refusal of big alcohol to provide sufficient labeling.
Someone has to pay for this.
IN THE NEWS
In response to a senseless shooting in a Charleston SC church, the city council in Memphis TN voted today to dig up a guy that’s been dead for over a century.
Good to know they’re addressing this with meaningful measures. No doubt the people of Charleston will breathe much easier now.
No word yet whether this will affect the Generals ability to continue voting in Democratic primaries.
Salon.com (hardly a bastion of right wing thought) recently posted about Seinfeld & other comedians condemning regimented PC “sensitivity“. It’s become so ingrained they avoid venues (like colleges) where it is more fashionable to hiss than laugh at jokes which fail to meet the ever growing “tolerance” rulebook.
That’s unfortunate, as it is probably the best movie in history at making bigotry and racism look totally stupid.
And for the record, it isn’t NEAR as funny watching it on PC-wary channels that bleep out non-PC words to avoid even the possibility someone might be offended.
Similarly, the Monty Python show, which pushed a LOT of boundaries, had more gay jokes than virtually any show then or now… in skits performed by a largely gay cast. It’s called “having a sense of humor“.
Heck, Foxworthy makes a living telling redneck jokes, which I find hilarious. Not IN SPITE of the fact many hit me, but because of it.
[And no, I do NOT date my cousins. Anymore.]
So how DID the land of the free turn into the land afraid to giggle? I feel sorry for kids growing up with this nonsense. They’ll miss a lot of fun.
They’ll also miss worthwhile lessons about REAL tolerance… not the kind that demands you censor yourself and others. If you consider censorship even mildly related to tolerance, you might want to look the word up. You’re using it wrong.