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Tiger Blood and Adonis DNA for sale

March 5, 2011

I thought I was the only guy with tiger blood and Adonis DNA… now just cause Charlie Sheen chose this special moment to have a (duh, winning) meltdown, I’m gonna have to find a new hook. Honestly had no idea somebody had leaked that one to Hollywood.

Looks like this rather public self destruction Sheen’s engaged in is going to take “two and a half men” down the tubes with him. Given that he was being paid more per episode to play himself than many people make in a decade or two of hard work, I can certainly see why the guy decided the best answer to getting nailed for being a drug crazed anti-semetic loon was to hold out for more money though. I mean, thats just obvious.

Anyway, despite the public drubbing he’s taken in the media for the flurry of almost coherent interviews that appeared to be aimed at making Gary Busey look comparatively mild, there are many that appreciate his public stand… Lindsey Lohan, Mel Gibson, and Muamar Ghaddafi to name just a few.

Anyway, now that he’s stolen my tiger blood secret and made being a narcissistic alcoholic man-whore sound almost like a bad thing… I’d like to reach out to his producers and urge them to go ahead and cut the cord. You don’t have to cave in to his silly demand to be paid three million bucks an episode to do that. I’m willing to replace him at his old salary.

Just have your people call mine… and pay no attention to anyone that says I can’t do it… They’re just losers. They don’t have Adonis DNA. Poor schmucks.

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