Dear Charter Cable – You stupid incompetent SOBs…

I mean that in the nicest way possible of course
Can’t tell you how much I truly LOVE the behavior of the employees in your commercials. You know… those thoughtful fellas that do whatever it takes to show up on time, and put on little booties so they wont mess up the floors in the clients house.

Just outta curiousity, when are you going to send one of those guys to my house instead of these clueless moronic inbred sonsabitches you’ve been sending, cause I’m really looking forward to it.

Not that it wasnt fun when you sent the last guy
It was interesting watching him walk around talking to some girl on his bluetooth about some other couple that was having romantic issues. Still, I got the nagging feeling he didn’t give a rats ass about my cable issues.

In his defense he did discover that the crew prior to him set up the cable in such a way that my “dedicated” computer line was getting about half the signal it was supposed to get. Now for the record, though I know little about cabling I DID end up being the one that figured out a workaround to it… but then I had the advantage of being able to concentrate, I didn’t have a girl in my ear aggravated because I had interrupted the important conversation to talk to guy about some pissy little cable issue.

Of course before that…
You had the guys that didnt show up at all when I was to be hooked up. Oh I confirmed the appointment and all, but they couldnt find the house even though I got yet another call while waiting, just to make sure I stayed put while they didnt come. They never showed, and nobody called to say they wouldn’t I waited for nothing. Good times.

Wait, your service does NOT work on windy days?
Notwithstanding the self-aggrandizing horse-shit you say on your commercials about your cable service…you never at any point say that it will NOT work if theres a hint of wind in the air. Might have been a pertinent detail to point out when I signed up for your service.

Don’t get me wrong, I dont think you are stupid
I admire your balls. You have the gutsiest revenue plan on the planet. You charge people for a service they need, and *usually* you deliver it. Then once in a while you cease to deliver it, or make the delivery of the service they are paying for intermittent on it’s best days.

Here’s the great part…
When the customer calls to ask WHY you arent delivering what they pay for every month… you charge them about half their monthly bill to have a guy come out to their house and investigate why you arent doing what you agreed to do in the first place.

Added bonus
If they do a poor job of fixing the problem, even better, cause you’ll charge that customer AGAIN if the fix doesnt hold. Pretty smooth. Kudos to you… Somalian pirates would blush at your boldness.

Can you say DTPA?
In Texas, the term for what you’re doing is encompassed in a piece of law called the Deceptive Trade Practices Act. You may not be familiar with it now, but when you are, it’ll be too late. Think about the number of people the AG could include in a class action suit, and you’ll LOVE the section about “treble damages”. That’d have an effect on your balance sheet felt all the way to your call center in Mumbai or wherever the guys that take my calls are really located.

Seriously, you have technicians on their way to my house tomorrow
I’ve complained about this problem before, and you even supposedly fixed it in October. I am not paying for your failure to fix it. I’m tired of you promising one thing and delivering something far less. Here’s how real customer service works: Nobody wants to hear about the damned labor pains, we just want to see the baby.

By the way…
If you send another self-absorbed punk with a bluetooth conversation going from the moment he steps in the door… hope you have a sterling health insurance program. He’s gonna need medical assistance to get that freakin bluetooth from where it’s gonna be located when he leaves.

Have a nice day. ~ Rob

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9 thoughts on “Dear Charter Cable – You stupid incompetent SOBs…

  1. They’re about on my last nerve. I shouldnt have had to explain why I had no damned intention of paying for yet another trip for them to fix something that they were already charging me for but for reasons having nothing whatsoever to do with me they were not delivering.

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  2. Hi Rob,

    I came across your blog and was not happy to read the experiences you have had with our company. I would like to make we address the issue with the technician talking on his Bluetooth during your service visit, make sure we do whatever is needed to ensure reliable services at your home, and resolve any billing concerns you may have. We are always looking for ways to do better and missing our commitment with a customer is never acceptable. Please send me an email at Umatter2Charter@chartercom.com with the name, address, and telephone number associated with the account, as well as the best number to reach you. Also, please put “CharterAbby – robjones3030.wordpress.com” in the subject so I can keep an eye out.

    Here’s a link to the Charter Social Media Team’s website for your reference: http://www.charter.com/Umatter2Charter

    Looking forward to resolving your concerns,
    Abby Catron
    Communications Specialist – Charter
    http://www.charter.com/Umatter2Charter

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  3. Thanks Abby -I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to know the guys scheduled to come out today didnt show up. I passed that on to Charter around 8PM, since they were scheduled to be here between 5 and 7 and never called or came.

    Wish I could say I’m surprised, but it’s pretty much par for the course here. How sad.

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  4. HaHaHa!!!!! Umatter2Charter! Lovely email address for the company with the worst customer service bar none I’ve EVER dealt with. I’m sure they pay Abby big bucks to sit around and sound concerned while they continue to deliver their shitty service.

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  5. Have to feel sorry for Abby – talk about a sucky job!

    The amazing part – in this day and age where it’s difficult to nearly impossible to find a job – you have subcontractors giving the worst service known to humankind. What a waste – so many people would be overjoyed to bend over backwards.

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  6. Well, ftr I appreciate their pain and wouldn’t trade jobs with em. If it were me I’d be pissed at the marketing dept for placing tv ads touting a feature over which they have no control. That said… The guys that came out this morning were on best behavior and this time replaced the line from the street that should’ve been replaced in October when the same issue was present. The guys in abbys dept made sure I got a credit on the bill for the no-show Sunday, which I do appreciate. Hopefully this is resolved.

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  7. Well, in fairness to Charter (btw, thanks for your help Abby)… it appears it isn’t just them. There’s apparently a similar sentiment with regard to pretty much every cable company out there. It’s as if theres a template for frustrating and inefficient scheduling and a pool of retarded vendors they all share.

    For your edification and enlightenment, see a similar experience with Time Warner here: http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/de6553c7bb/my-letter-to-time-warner-cable

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