Breaking News: Shep Smith Sees Trump’s Shadow

Forecast:  Six More Weeks of Silly News
Fox News Shepard Smith spent hours today in giggly anticipation of “breaking news” about whom “The Donald”* would endorse. He speculated on the nature of the coming event.

Oh the mystery. Oh the intrigue.

  • Would “The Donald” endorse Newt as previously expected?
  • Would he break from expectations and endorse Romney?
  • Would Lassie get ’em to quit guessing “Timmy’s in the well?” and just fill the waterbowl?

Did someone in programming think there are hordes waiting for “The Donald”* to speak before they commit to a candidate? If so, who told them that horrendous lie, why are they so gullible, and where were they when I had listings with dubious foundations for sale?

Finally the much anticipated moment arrived
“The Donald”* stepped forward to break the mounting suspense. He would support Romney. He did so for a number of weighty reasons; His splendid debate performance, his principled stands on issues, and he was the only one that made the pilgrimage to see him that hadn’t giggled at that combover that looks like a squirrel nesting on his forehead.

Or so we were assured by a breathless Shepard Smith following this pseudo-monumental event.

Everything? Really?

  • Are housing values still lower than their mortgage?
  • Is the unemployment rate still attrocious?
  • Is our national debt still higher than Charlie Sheen on a weeklong bender?

If the answer to any of the above is “yes”…

Then it didn’t really change quite “everything”. Sorry, but overselling an event important to maybe 3 people (ok, 4 if we count you) was  almost as annoying as listening to the angry dyke at MSNBC pretend to be a journalist instead of an embedded Obama campaign staffer.

Behold the KingMaker
Notwithstanding “The Donald’s”* desire to be perceived as having affected the outcome, his timing looks suspiciously like he just waited to see who was the likely nominee, then announced support so it might appear someone actually cared who he favored. We see similar acts from guys that speak to dead relatives of audience members. “Does someone have a deceased love one with an S in their name? You madam… he is beside me… is his name Sam? No? Simon? Ohhh, Susan. Yes… that’s it, Susan is here with me….”

RE: The asterisk after “The Donald”…
Any grown man that can repeatedly call a guy The {insertname} should be relegated to hosting a children’s program. C’mon Fox, your viewers deserve better than this breathless fanboy stuff.

There was real news to report today, and you’d have been just as well served devoting the coverage to Punxatawny Phil. It had just as much news value and a slightly stronger 50% chance of accuracy.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

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