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All the News, Just as I Imagine It To Be

May 14, 2012

NEWSFLASH: Terrorist Crisis at US Base

Today DC was notified of a shooting at a US base in Afghanistan in which two Brazillian soldiers were shot.

— Thinking quickly, President Obama quickly responded with a press release blaming George Bush.

— Harry Reid stood before CNN and announced this would never have happened if the DNC controlled the House.

— Nancy Pelosi called for a universal ban on all handguns in civilian hands across the US… just in case.

— Michelle Obama scheduled an emergency diplomatic peacekeeping tour to all major resorts on the Caribbean… taking along an entourage of family and friends to assist.

— Joe Biden hesitated… looked around, and said “So just how many is ‘a brazillion’ anyway?”

Yeah… I know it didn’t happen, but tell me it doesn’t have a ring of truth.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

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