FAVORITE THINGS (Texas Redneck Version)
Ford F150s and bright red Camaros
Billy Cook saddles and Stetson sombreros
Cheap brands of bourbon and boxes of wine
All of these things do appeal to my mind
Large breasted women and freebie lap dances
Internet porn and illicit romances
Girls who let dad-issues cloud their young mind
These are the things that appeal to my kind.
When my dog bites
When the cops sting
When I’m feeling broke
I simply remember these things that I like
And then I can take… the joke.
Bright copper cases that hold .45 slugs
Sleek semi-autos in holsters my hip hugs
Fiber night optics that see in the dark
All of these things hit it out of my park
Speckled young dogs that come back when I whistle
Troll motors that cut thru brush like a missile
Fishing lures that catch two fish at a time
These are all things I consider sublime
When the kids fight
When the truck stalls
When I feel like heck
I simply just think of these things that I like
And then I’m not such… a wreck.
————— * —————-
Just got a Cease and Desist Order from Rogers and Hammerstein.
Also an odd obscene phone call I’m pretty sure was from Julie Andrews.