HELPFUL TIP: For all the city dwellers coming to Weatherford for the first time to protest a Civil War Memorial, here’s a bit of local lore that will make you the envy of your friends
MIRACLE PLANT: If you drive around the town a bit you’ll likely see the native plant below. This wondrous piece of country flora can be crunched into a ball, and makes an amazing body scrub!
There are even rumors rubbing it on your genitals produces a highly invigorating response that’s bound to make your partner REALLY notice. In fact, it has many potential uses; country toilet paper, tobacco substitute, herbal tea ingredient. Be imaginative.
Generous locals won’t mind at all if you take some. Bring a bag. Feel free to pick as much as you want. Be sure to share with your buddies.
Welcome ANTIFA and BLM! Have a memorable visit. :-)
I’ve seen a lot of suggestions. Most as silly as the politically correct demand to change the name. I mean, Washington Monuments? The same guys insisting on a name change are currently tearing monuments down. Might send the wrong signal.
Washington Warriors? Naah. Same problem already under critique.
The Washington Jeffersons? Sounds like a guy that’ll later change his name to Trayvonne X Muhammad. Same with the Washington Lincolns and the Washington Roosevelts.
Maybe go with something more apt for the situation. The Washington Jellyfish? What better name to celebrate failure to stand your ground than a mascot with no spine? Plus the helmet would look really cool.
Or if you wanted to still be a “Skins fan” while going with one that shows what kind of person caves to social pressure… maybe The Washington Foreskins.
Granted, I’m not sure how good the logo will look on a helmet.
There are 29.9 million people in Texas. Reports say approximately 1000 are dead of Covid-19. That’s 1 in 29,900.
Odds I’ll be hit by LIGHTNING in my lifetime?
1 in 3000. Roughly 10 times higher. So when IS government going to do something to mitigate this Lightning Pandemic?
No, I’m NOT belittling the value of the lives lost. I’m putting it in perspective, because, let’s face it, people die of something every day. Does getting in your car mean you don’t care about the 3000+ people who die on Texas highways every year?
What? You still drive? You selfish bastard. It isn’t just about YOUR safety. By driving you could kill my grandmother. Or is that your plan? Hmmm?
No matter how hard the news spins this thing, we are not seeing people with oxcarts collecting bodies from house to house. Instead, we are seeing the equivalent of a bad flu season.
Even then most of it is centered in the Northeast states, so expecting Texans to hide out because the death roll in far away high-rises is bad is statistically heretical.
Take what precautions you think necessary, but no matter what you do, the only people safe from death are those who already died.
Before everyone on the left spontaneously explodes into flames before a CNN camera… let’s discuss reality. A “TAX” takes money from the person who OWNS the money. So what these people are screaming about is that a law was passed saying the federal government will not TAKE AS MUCH AWAY from you when you make it.
Is that really GIVING you money?
HOW TAX CUTS WORK
To put it in real world terms… imagine, after a week of work you cashed a paycheck. You and your wife walk home via a dark alley lined with sleeping men with hands folded over paper bags covering bottles of Jack Daniels whiskey or Boone’s Farm wine.
From the shadows emerges a guy in a nice suit, who sticks a gun to your ribs and demands your money, your watch, and your wedding ring.
You comply, but as you hand him the wedding ring he relents, and in a moment of uncharacteristic largesse, allows you to keep it. You smile at his kindness. He begins handing your money to the guys sleeping in the alley.
Suddenly, from out of nowhere emerges Chuck Schumer… screaming to a camera that the guy in the suit didn’t “give” rings to anyone ELSE in the alley.
Joining him, Nancy Pelosi demands to know how the guy in the suit intends to pay for the LOSS of the wedding ring.
She points out that given their joint monthly expenditures on crack and prostitutes he can’t possibly afford such generous measures. “How in the hell will you pay for our crack if you run around giving away wedding rings!?”
Next, all the guys that’d been sleeping in the alley pull out the latest iPhone to share pictures of you on social media.
They complain that you were GIVEN a ring by the guy in the suit, but they were not. They discuss how unfair it is, wryly note that your paycheck just doesn’t seen to go as far these days, and gripe about the inadequate recognition of alley-sleepers in general.
They then make plans get together next week after the Superbowl party and protest.
The illegal alien, 6 times deported / 7 time convicted felon who was illegally in the country when he used a gun stolen from a law enforcement vehicle to shoot and kill Kate Steinle, a 32 year old US citizen, as she walked along a San Francisco pier with her father… was found “not guilty” of murder by a California jury.
The man that did it stated he was in San Francisco specifically because it is a “sanctuary city”.
He admits firing the shot that killed her, but depending on which version of his story you use, he “found” the pistol… and either he was shooting at seals, or the firearm simply discharged 3 times all by itself. [That last explanation is of course perfectly plausible if you know less than nothing about firearms.]
Kate’s last words were “Help me Daddy.”
The case leaves me several things I’d really like to say about illegal aliens, sanctuary cities, California, Obama’s border enforcement, and bleeding heart liberals in general… but voicing these right now would definitely destroy the G-rating for my page. I leave it to your imagination. [Hint: It wouldn’t be highly complimentary.]
Suffice it to say you won’t find me banging the drum for a new “path to citizenship” for illegal aliens. We already have a path. It’s called “obey our immigration laws.”
The RefuseFacism / ANTIFA twerps posted a FULL PAGE ad in the NY Times for their big protest. Turnout was about like an unadvertised open house. There were under 2 dozen in Austin, which is ground zero in Texas for their fans. Kind of underwhelming.
Nobody knows why turnout was dismal, but their groupies are reduced to going Twitter to claim it was all a prank. [Sounds legit. I blow money on full page ads in the NYT every April fool’s day myself.]
Theories abound as to why so few showed to depose the evil dictator:
Star Trek marathon conflict
Stayed up too late braiding each other’s hair
They TOLD Mom to wake ’em for it dammit!
Dad said they had to take out the trash or they couldn’t go
Whatever the cause, their big moment is as dead as the career of the chick whose former loyalists now admit she pretty much bought her party’s nomination. Guess we must live another day under the oppressive boot of people that want to lower our taxes and increase US jobs. The fiends.
Bergdahl walks without a jail sentence. After 6 men gave their lives looking for the confessed deserter and others were injured or maimed in the effort.
The military judge stated in writing prior to sentencing that the harsh criticism Donald Trump made about Bergdahl would be his reason for a lighter sentence.
I notice he didn’t mention the prior president threw a Rose Garden party for little Bowes pro Taliban mommy and daddy, and trotted out Susan Rice to claim Bergdahl “served with honor and distinction”. At least Trump’s words actually matched the facts of the case.
The judge is an Army Colonel. Love to be on the review board that decides if he ever gets a star. He owes an apology to the families harmed by Bergdahl’s actions.
If a memorial in a church to one of America’s most revered founders, dead for over 2 centuries, makes you feel “unsafe”… you’re absolutely right. You are NOT safe. You have the mental acuity of a toddler or less, and have no bloody business being out in the dangerous real world with adults. Hightail it back to your safe space. Pronto.
We knew when they started with Confederate flags, then CSA monuments, it was only a matter of time before they went after the founding fathers. They object to the US flag, the national anthem, the cross, Christmas, the pledge of allegiance, the constitution, and the guys that created the country.
If you haven’t caught on yet… what they vehemently hate is The United States of America.
From here forward, whatever they demand, the answer is NO. Or HELL no. Just in case they need a choice.
This is why you don’t negotiate with terrorists. Or 2 year olds.
Imagine going to the circus. The clown car enters the ring… and a clown hops out, grabs a microphone, and launches into a breathlessly sanctimonious lecture about the need for gun control.
Is THIS what you came for? NO.
But every day now we get effectively the same thing from movie stars, TV celebrities, late night hosts, rappers, and now even football players.
THEY HAVE A RIGHT YA KNOW
Now I KNOW they have a platform that enables them to share their opinions, and they certainly have a first amendment to right to say what they want without regard to whether I find it noteworthy or even offensive.
The only possible exception is the football players using their employers’ gametime to make a political statement… which is imminently questionable if their employer objects to them doing so, just as the greeter at Wal-Mart might get fired for standing at the front door in his company smock insulting people as they enter… but that’s another subject.
They ALL have the right to voice an opinion.
Why the hell should we listen?
Do Hollywood characters have some special insight about political matters I don’t? A ton of them are at best high school grads, and their only claim to fame is reading lines someone else wrote and pretending to be someone they are not. Did becoming a famous TV doctor or movie action star make their opinion of what I should think valid?
Do rappers who became famous uttering lyrics about murdering cops or abusing women really deserve to lecture me about social justice or misogyny? Not sure they are the right guy for the job.
[To be fair, they aren’t the right guy to sing, either. “Untalented” does that begin to describe that noise.]
BOTTOM LINE: IT ISNT ENTERTAINING
If you are in the entertainment business, then entertain. HALF the country may agree with you, but the other half doesn’t, and unless you just enjoy driving your brand into the dirt, stick to what you know.
It isn’t politics.
It apparently isn’t business, either.
You need not believe me… a glimpse of box office proceeds and NFL revenues should tell you straying into 1-sided political discourse when it isn’t your real job is a poor business model.
There is pretty much nothing less enlightening than a self-aggrandizing lecture from some overpaid under-educated Hollywood twit. So thanks for thinking of us… but shut up and act. You aren’t paid because you’re smart, you’re paid because you play someone who is.