SIZE MATTERS

These days I no longer sell real estate… just saddles. Though there’s a lot less money involved, it’s a lot more enjoyable. As a general rule, horse people are just more fun than the general public.

That said, as in real estate, there are always going to be those whose appetite exceeds their means.

In real estate, that was easily mitigated by introducing them to a loan officer, who introduced them to reality. No matter what ones appetites are, you can’t buy a million dollar house unless you have a million dollars, or at least the ability to qualify for a corresponding loan.

Successful agents learn to head that problem off BEFORE showing a lot of houses the folks cannot possibly purchase. If not, they should change jobs and become tour guides or Uber drivers. Then at least they’ll get paid for the trips.

With saddles it isn’t so much the price tag that poses a problem as the seat size. In a nutshell, there are some, truth be told it’s generally females, that want to buy one they might have fit into back when they fit into their wedding dress, but no so much today.

Screenshot_20190527-125514Doesn’t matter if OSHA regs wouldn’t allow them to visit a work site until their butt was equipped with a backup beeper… some will STILL come in insisting they want to get a saddle with a 14 inch seat. “Maybe a 14.5.”

To my own credit, I almost never start giggling when I hear this. Not only would I sell less product, there’s a fair chance some big chick would stomp a mudhole in my chest. [That sort of thing can ruin your whole day.]

Seriously the world would be better if saddle salesmen were allowed the latitude we give bartenders. “Sorry Ma’am, but I’m afraid that’s enough 14s for you.”

There’s a considerable amount of acumen required to get that person out the door with a saddle that will enable them to actually ENJOY their riding experience. Hard to do it without hurting their feelings. Or personally coming to physical harm.

Granted I HAVE done it, but I’ve also let some walk out with a saddle I KNOW they’re going to immediately return because it is “just not comfortable” or “doesn’t sit them right”. [Seriously. The only thing that would’ve made it “sit them right” is a time machine.]

It’s worth remembering that when you ride, NOBODY sees a tag stating what size your saddle is. EVERYONE WILL, however, notice your thighs are jammed against the pommel while your backside overlaps the cantle like the Pillsbury Doughboy in a Speedo.

Lest anyone think I’m picking on the girls here, guys have their related quirks. We’ve all seen a fellow my age trying to wear his old high school Levis. He will attract a lot less negative attention in a pair that fits than one that can’t. Plus denim wasn’t made for that kind of compression, there may be a potentially embarrassing wardrobe malfunction in the works.

Now that I think of it, jeans manufacturers may have already solved some of this problem for us. Now all I need to do is go back and label the 17” and 18” saddles “Relaxed Fit” 14s.

On a related note… hate to brag, but I’d like to point out I can still fit into the hat I wore at my wedding. Yeah. Eat your heart out, people.

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I’m Rob Jones… and I approved this message.

TO THE SAFE SPACE, ROBIN!

Since the Mueller report came out and failed to substantiate the Russian collusion meme, I decided to spend a bit of my day off watching MSNBC for entertainment.

They didn’t disappoint.

Seriously, we’re talking major need for therapy. Chris Matthews is hitting his high octave again.

Their struggle to deal with this reminds me of an old poem…
“As I was going up the stairs
I met a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today.
I wish I wish he’d go away.”

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Seriously. It looked like a Situation Room during a crisis as they pondered aloud how to proceed. They uniformly agreed that “this is not over” as they marinated in the soothing presence of their echo chamber where everyone agreed with them.

Then they played a clip of Rep Jerry Nadler, who like Adam Schiff and others, has taken the tinfoil hat to a new level, saying it’s “just too early” for {whatever}. He’s the guy still planning his attack on the other team’s defense as the lights on the field are being shut off after the game.

MSNBC should not be mistaken for a news outlet. They’re a cadre of homely DNC cheerleaders. It doesn’t matter the report they have told us for 2 years would bury Trump didn’t bear out their hopes. They’re invested in their goal of taking him down.

How sad for them. Guess Walmart needs to stock up on coloring books. Bunch of folks will be hitting their “safe spaces” again.

 

I’m Rob Jones… and I approved this message. 

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Situational Decisions…

A. Disarm cops! They hunt black men for sport!

B. Only COPS should have guns!
—-
A. Muslims have a RIGHT to enact Sharia law!
B. We must protect women and homosexuals from men!
—-
A. Second hand smoke kills! Outlaw smoking!
B. Legalize marijuana!
—-
A. My body… My choice.
B. What? Why should *I* pay for it?
—-
A. We DEMAND equality.
B. How dare you speak like that to a woman!
—-
A. Hey, Rowe v Wade is established law.
B. 2nd amendment? The Constitution is an old piece of paper.
—-
A. We suspect collusion with Russia!
B. Millions from Russians involved in uranium sales paid to their foundation? Are you implying that’s a problem?
—-
A. He said “p***** grabbing”!
B. Yeah… So she trashed the rep of Bill’s victims. That was years ago.
—-
A. Photo ID! UNCONSTITUTIONAL cause voting is a right!
B. FBI background checks aren’t ENOUGH to stop the wrong people from bearing arms!
—-
A. Why won’t Trump voluntarily show his taxes?
B. So she deleted 30 thousand emails, had phones crunched with a hammer and hit the server with bleach bit in response to a subpeona. At least she isn’t hiding her taxes.
—-
A. It’s a movie about a beautiful love between a man and a boy.
B. ME TOO!
—-
A. Does he think he’s a dictator?
B. How DARE he undo Obama’s executive order countermanding immigration law!
—-
A. We can’t have a TV star president!
B. Oprah 2020!
—-

Just in case you wonder why we don’t take these things seriously.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approved this message.

NOV 4 IT BEGINS! (and ends)

The RefuseFacism / ANTIFA twerps posted a FULL PAGE ad in the NY Times for their big protest. Turnout was about like an unadvertised open house. There were under 2 dozen in Austin, which is ground zero in Texas for their fans. Kind of underwhelming.

Nobody knows why turnout was dismal, but their groupies are reduced to going Twitter to claim it was all a prank. [Sounds legit. I blow money on full page ads in the NYT every April fool’s day myself.]

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Theories abound as to why so few showed to depose the evil dictator:

  • Star Trek marathon conflict
  • Stayed up too late braiding each other’s hair
  • They TOLD Mom to wake ’em for it dammit!
  • Dad said they had to take out the trash or they couldn’t go

Whatever the cause, their big moment is as dead as the career of the chick whose former loyalists now admit she pretty much bought her party’s nomination. Guess we must live another day under the oppressive boot of people that want to lower our taxes and increase US jobs. The fiends.

I’m Rob Jones, and I approved this message

WHAT DO THEY REALLY WANT?

If a memorial in a church to one of America’s most revered founders, dead for over 2 centuries, makes you feel “unsafe”… you’re absolutely right. You are NOT safe. You have the mental acuity of a toddler or less, and have no bloody business being out in the dangerous real world with adults. Hightail it back to your safe space. Pronto.

We knew when they started with Confederate flags, then CSA monuments, it was only a matter of time before they went after the founding fathers. They object to the US flag, the national anthem, the cross, Christmas, the pledge of allegiance, the constitution, and the guys that created the country.

If you haven’t caught on yet… what they vehemently hate is The United States of America.

From here forward, whatever they demand, the answer is NO. Or HELL no. Just in case they need a choice.

This is why you don’t negotiate with terrorists. Or 2 year olds.

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RAINBOWS, UNICORNS, & POLLS

CLAP YOUR HANDS AND BELIEVE!

In the 2016 election, polls consistently told those of a left leaning persuasion exactly what they wanted to hear.

“Trump doesn’t even have a chance. EVERYONE hates him.”

Those polls were reinforced by Dem politicians, Republican politicians, the news media, Hollywood celebs, late night TV hosts and the all-knowing political talking heads.

TRUST US. HE WON’T BE NOMINATED!

The polls said that during the primaries. They assured America (and apparently themselves) he had less than a 1% chance of nomination. Jeb WILL win. “Trust us… we KNOW stuff. We are pollsters!”

OK, BUT HE’LL NEVER BE PRESIDENT!

When he got the nomination, in defiance of all “acceptable” predictions and the leadership of both parties (including the one in which he was nominated)… all the polls and supporting players commenced to assure us (AND themselves) he couldn’t beat Hillary. Within hours of his election win there were still professional prognosticators on record giving Hillary a 98% chance of victory.

The polls leading into the election were so one-sided that Hillary actually had a house built on her Chapequa property to house HER WHITE HOUSE STAFFERS.

Before the election.

TOLDJA TIME

I noted several times during the lead up to the vote that pollsters methodology appeared to be EXTREMELY loose. If not intentionally trying to skew results, they were obviously ignoring any semblance of realistic sampling. It was starting to look like their polls may have been taken entirely in the halls of their New York offices, and they were using miniscule sample sizes to project the vote of all 50 states.

They assumed they knew the outcome, and they at very best got lazy. That is the most generous assessment I’m prepared to make.

POST MORTEM

Sure, Hillary DID squeak out a popular vote win, thanks to California, but that in no way exonerates pollsters. Even before the election, everyone knew EXACTLY how the states were weighted electorally. Everyone knew how elections are scored. They were projecting an ELECTORAL win, not a pyrrhic victory… and it simply didn’t happen.

Whether it was done intentionally by pollsters hoping to sway the result with a bandwagon effect, or it was a signal that sampling methods seriously need to be updated… here’s a thought; QUIT LISTENING TO POLLS.

It’s become glaringly obvious that polls are being skewed to CREATE an outcome, not project one. That’s a huge difference.

You may be excused for falling for it once, but after that it is entirely on you. Making the same mistake over and over can’t be blamed on ignorance, only stupidity.

IN RELATED NEWS

Polls say Trump is almost universally unpopular. Even his dog hates him. You can take it to the bank.

These polls are, after all, done by professionals. They KNOW things.