Dear Miss Manners

As you know an African American shot 8 white people in a church this weekend. In order to avoid being politically incorrect, I’ve decided to treat this as done by others, but have a few procedural questions.

1) Not sure of protocol on order. Do we pull down black monuments before looting, or after?

2) I understand this social injustice entitles me to a free video equipment upgrade. Can I wear a belt while claiming my new flatscreen, or does tradition require my pants drag?

3) It’s embarrassing to admit, but a hair weave will not do me much good. Is it ok to loot a saddle shop instead? Or maybe Barnes & Noble. I haven’t read Hannity’s last book.

4) I’m travelling from out of town. Who do I see about buses to the event?

5) During the riot portion, tradition requires I throw bricks at black people unrelated to the events I’m protesting. Something about that strikes me as stupid. Is it ok to skip that?

Last question is not so much about protocol as just a general query about purpose. Don’t get me wrong, I DO want to strike a blow for social justice. It’s just a lot of this seems self serving, unrelated to what we’re protesting, and frankly counterproductive. What am I missing?

I’m Rob Jones, and I approve this message.


yellowjacketsI might not have a bunch of counter-terrorism credentials, but where I live… if you boast you “scored a major victory in the war-on-yellowjackets” every time you hit one or two with a can of Raid AFTER they sting you, and you STILL haven’t burned the nest to the ground… I don’t care how old you are, come Thanksgiving they’re gonna have you sitting at the kids table.

Just sayin….

“I’m Rob Jones, and I approve this message.”



In just under 30 races, Kasich has won zero state primaries. He’s 2nd choice in few. But “states won” is not the deciding factor, it’s delegate count.

— Delegates required to win = 1237.
— Kasich has 63.
— Kasich needs 1174 more to win.
— There are 1392 delegates still out.

So a Kasich victory is mathematically possible if he holds the three opponents that have soundly beat him thus far to a combined total of 218 more delegates from here forward… and almost half that many will be allotted winner-take-all today in Florida to someone else.

Given most of the outstanding races award delegates proportionally, his path to victory, short of a brokered convention at which it is handed to him… Is for EVERY remaining opponent to drop out.

You couldnt find the Kasich path to victory with 2 flashlights and a bloodhound.

If he owns a calculator, he knows he isn’t running for president. He’s running to stop someone else from being president.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

Trophy Hunting, Cecil the Lion and other Shiny Objects

Texas-Trophy-Hunters-magazine-scanI do not trophy hunt.

There, I came out of the closet and admitted it. But that is pretty much the only way in which not being a trophy hunter in Texas is analogous to being gay, cause being gay IS actually allowed. Heck there’s a Texas Gay Rodeo Association where one can proudly win buckles and other manly prizes while being gay in Texas.

Meanwhile, non-sport-hunters in Texas are forced to not hunt in shadowy alleys and unsavory parts of town populated by meth addicts, child molesters and Democratic ex-congressmen.

There is no Texas Non-Trophy-Hunter Association that awards us prizes for being really good at not trophy hunting. We are by binding state law reduced to the status of social pariahs. At the weekly men’s meetings, we are only served at the children’s table and not allowed to talk.

It isn’t that I don’t hunt for fun because I don’t like meat, leather or fur either. My passion for meat knows few bounds, and I love leather and fur, especially on members of the opposite sex. Nor have I ever seen the movie Bambi, so no, I’m not worried I might shoot his mom. Besides, I’m almost positive I made jerky out of Bambi’s mom a long time ago anyway. [She was delicious.]

I just don’t do it cause it doesn’t seem like fun. If we armed the animals being hunted, THEN it’d at least be a competitive sport, but getting up at a time when I normally go to bed sucks. Cold weather sucks. And frankly I hate killing things I don’t need to kill. Hell, I hate killing things I DO need to kill.*

* Possible exception, copperheads. Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure they’ll never be extinct.

That said, trophy hunting IS a legal activity. I don’t get pissy about others doing it, it just isn’t my idea of a great time for the aforementioned reasons. I’m not going to go throw paint on hunters in the name of animal rights, because of several reasons… up to and including the fact they pretty much all have guns and I’d prefer a natural death at an old age without ever having been strapped across the hood of an F-250 and driven to a processor where I become sausage.

But even if I was assured they wouldn’t shoot me, I’m not throwing any stones at the guys. I am happy to consume what they bring back, and am aware that as a group they probably contribute more to the conservation of our wildlife and environment than all the Birkenstock wearing PETA protesters combined.

I will kill for food, but currently find it a helluvalot easier to go to Kroger for meat. Should a day come that is not the case, Bambi is toast. Until then, I’ll probably just hunt with a camera. [At a decent hour. While it is warm.]

Cecil the LionWhat I cannot for the life of me understand is guys that are so pissed that a lion named Cecil was killed, skinned and his head removed… when the same people defend Planned Parenthood calmly discussing similar procedures over lunch and joking about it.

I’m not even getting into the abortion discussion, I’m talking about the ghoulish behavior of turning human body parts into a product. If Joseph Mengele was a noted Democrat I guess you’d defend his work too? Pick a side, people. That’s just weird.

Last week nobody posting misty-eyed farewells to Cecil the Lion had heard of “Cecil the Lion”. Now they want to murder a dentist they’d never heard of in defense of a cat they’d never heard of. Just freakin insane.

For heaven’s sake, people, lay off the dentist. Don’t fall for every shiny thing the media puts in your path. There are just a helluvalot bigger problems in the world than a dead cat.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

Media Perspectives: Pamela Geller vs Anjem Choudary

Always interesting to see the way various media view the news of the same day. Below find the discussion of yesterday’s FOX News hookup between Pam Geller and Imam* Anjem Choudary on Sean Hannity’s show. *Note: Imam is an Arabic term of endearment which means “batshit crazy”

Fox news

Hey… I call ’em as I see ’em. I should have my own news channel soon.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.