Dear Miss Manners

As you know an African American shot 8 white people in a church this weekend. In order to avoid being politically incorrect, I’ve decided to treat this as done by others, but have a few procedural questions.

1) Not sure of protocol on order. Do we pull down black monuments before looting, or after?

2) I understand this social injustice entitles me to a free video equipment upgrade. Can I wear a belt while claiming my new flatscreen, or does tradition require my pants drag?

3) It’s embarrassing to admit, but a hair weave will not do me much good. Is it ok to loot a saddle shop instead? Or maybe Barnes & Noble. I haven’t read Hannity’s last book.

4) I’m travelling from out of town. Who do I see about buses to the event?

5) During the riot portion, tradition requires I throw bricks at black people unrelated to the events I’m protesting. Something about that strikes me as stupid. Is it ok to skip that?

Last question is not so much about protocol as just a general query about purpose. Don’t get me wrong, I DO want to strike a blow for social justice. It’s just a lot of this seems self serving, unrelated to what we’re protesting, and frankly counterproductive. What am I missing?

I’m Rob Jones, and I approve this message.


yellowjacketsI might not have a bunch of counter-terrorism credentials, but where I live… if you boast you “scored a major victory in the war-on-yellowjackets” every time you hit one or two with a can of Raid AFTER they sting you, and you STILL haven’t burned the nest to the ground… I don’t care how old you are, come Thanksgiving they’re gonna have you sitting at the kids table.

Just sayin….

“I’m Rob Jones, and I approve this message.”



In just under 30 races, Kasich has won zero state primaries. He’s 2nd choice in few. But “states won” is not the deciding factor, it’s delegate count.

— Delegates required to win = 1237.
— Kasich has 63.
— Kasich needs 1174 more to win.
— There are 1392 delegates still out.

So a Kasich victory is mathematically possible if he holds the three opponents that have soundly beat him thus far to a combined total of 218 more delegates from here forward… and almost half that many will be allotted winner-take-all today in Florida to someone else.

Given most of the outstanding races award delegates proportionally, his path to victory, short of a brokered convention at which it is handed to him… Is for EVERY remaining opponent to drop out.

You couldnt find the Kasich path to victory with 2 flashlights and a bloodhound.

If he owns a calculator, he knows he isn’t running for president. He’s running to stop someone else from being president.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

Trophy Hunting, Cecil the Lion and other Shiny Objects

Texas-Trophy-Hunters-magazine-scanI do not trophy hunt.

There, I came out of the closet and admitted it. But that is pretty much the only way in which not being a trophy hunter in Texas is analogous to being gay, cause being gay IS actually allowed. Heck there’s a Texas Gay Rodeo Association where one can proudly win buckles and other manly prizes while being gay in Texas.

Meanwhile, non-sport-hunters in Texas are forced to not hunt in shadowy alleys and unsavory parts of town populated by meth addicts, child molesters and Democratic ex-congressmen.

There is no Texas Non-Trophy-Hunter Association that awards us prizes for being really good at not trophy hunting. We are by binding state law reduced to the status of social pariahs. At the weekly men’s meetings, we are only served at the children’s table and not allowed to talk.

It isn’t that I don’t hunt for fun because I don’t like meat, leather or fur either. My passion for meat knows few bounds, and I love leather and fur, especially on members of the opposite sex. Nor have I ever seen the movie Bambi, so no, I’m not worried I might shoot his mom. Besides, I’m almost positive I made jerky out of Bambi’s mom a long time ago anyway. [She was delicious.]

I just don’t do it cause it doesn’t seem like fun. If we armed the animals being hunted, THEN it’d at least be a competitive sport, but getting up at a time when I normally go to bed sucks. Cold weather sucks. And frankly I hate killing things I don’t need to kill. Hell, I hate killing things I DO need to kill.*

* Possible exception, copperheads. Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure they’ll never be extinct.

That said, trophy hunting IS a legal activity. I don’t get pissy about others doing it, it just isn’t my idea of a great time for the aforementioned reasons. I’m not going to go throw paint on hunters in the name of animal rights, because of several reasons… up to and including the fact they pretty much all have guns and I’d prefer a natural death at an old age without ever having been strapped across the hood of an F-250 and driven to a processor where I become sausage.

But even if I was assured they wouldn’t shoot me, I’m not throwing any stones at the guys. I am happy to consume what they bring back, and am aware that as a group they probably contribute more to the conservation of our wildlife and environment than all the Birkenstock wearing PETA protesters combined.

I will kill for food, but currently find it a helluvalot easier to go to Kroger for meat. Should a day come that is not the case, Bambi is toast. Until then, I’ll probably just hunt with a camera. [At a decent hour. While it is warm.]

Cecil the LionWhat I cannot for the life of me understand is guys that are so pissed that a lion named Cecil was killed, skinned and his head removed… when the same people defend Planned Parenthood calmly discussing similar procedures over lunch and joking about it.

I’m not even getting into the abortion discussion, I’m talking about the ghoulish behavior of turning human body parts into a product. If Joseph Mengele was a noted Democrat I guess you’d defend his work too? Pick a side, people. That’s just weird.

Last week nobody posting misty-eyed farewells to Cecil the Lion had heard of “Cecil the Lion”. Now they want to murder a dentist they’d never heard of in defense of a cat they’d never heard of. Just freakin insane.

For heaven’s sake, people, lay off the dentist. Don’t fall for every shiny thing the media puts in your path. There are just a helluvalot bigger problems in the world than a dead cat.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

Media Perspectives: Pamela Geller vs Anjem Choudary

Always interesting to see the way various media view the news of the same day. Below find the discussion of yesterday’s FOX News hookup between Pam Geller and Imam* Anjem Choudary on Sean Hannity’s show. *Note: Imam is an Arabic term of endearment which means “batshit crazy”

Fox news

Hey… I call ’em as I see ’em. I should have my own news channel soon.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

Democrats don’t like “Stupid” Ted Cruz

gorilla facepalm— Sheila Jackson Lee asked if the Mars probe found the flag Neil Armstrong planted.

— Hank Johnson solemnly asked pentagon brass if they were worried about Guam capsizing.

— Nancy Pelosi famously stated we must pass the bill to find out what is in it.

— Diana DeGette indicated existing gun mags will become useless once the bullets are fired.

— Al Gore crisscrosses the nation in a private jet to lecture others about their carbon footprint.

— John Kerry recently tried to gloss over a US diplomatic gaffe by flying James Taylor to France to sing “you’ve got a friend”.

— Hillary (What difference does it make) Clinton’s great achievement as Sec of State is supposedly the “re-set” with Russia. That’s working out swimmingly.

— Joe Biden said… [oh who cares… pick any quote].

— Obama would like to fine you if you don’t vote. As a Senator, he skipped 324 roll call votes, & often voted “present” if he was there.

But Dems want you to know in their opinion… Ted Cruz is not smart.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

CBS Stirs Racial Pot: Sensational / Misleading Headlines on Tony Robinson

QUOTE FROM CBS ARTICLE… “A child, somebody’s child is dead. Shot dead by a police officer. There are no other facts that are really important. The fact that he was unarmed and that he was shot five times,” Brandi Grayson, member of the Young, Gifted and Black Coalition, told CBS affiliate WISC-TV in Madison.


a child is dead-  CBS News

NOTE 1: No… other facts ARE important… like… oh… was the “child” fresh off committing one violent crime and in the process of committing another when shot?

NOTE 2: What the hell is the point of calling a 19 yr old that was convicted of a violent felony (armed home invasion) less than 5 months ago “a child”? [Answer? It’s a great way to stir the pot.]

NOTE 3: Don’t tell me “We all make mistakes”. A typo is “a mistake”. Pushing on a door marked PULL is “a mistake”. Assault is “a felony”. Armed robbery is “a felony”. Learn the difference.

NOTE 4: Thank you CBS for showing clearly you are not journalists, just in the business of stirring racial strife for profit. I hope your butt grows together.

Eric Holder’s Justice Dept wants nothing more than to be able to convict some white guy of “hunting” poor defenseless blacks. They have tried and failed now on multiple occasions, sensationalizing the Mike Brown death, the Trayvon Martin death, and others. Then after they intentionally inflamed the public, they eventually had to eat crow and admit there was no case.

The ARE unjust cop actions out there. That warrants skepticism & due dilligence. Facts however do NOT support this BS about cops routinely hunting and killing unarmed black “children”.

Stirring the racial pot with gallactically misleading headlines and starting stories with obscenely stupid quotes won’t fix the real problem.

The DOJ has confirmed that the Ferguson “Hands up don’t shoot” narrative was a lie. Didn’t happen. Maybe our best bet is to quit trying cases on Twitter and newspapers and let the courts do their job.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.


As a part of our continuing education effort…

Many think FB is some liberating mechanism, the Wild West, a no-holds-barred playground. The truthful answer is that it has not only written rules, but many more that are simply “understood”.

It’s also far from being a world where men and women are on equal footing. Facebook etiquette is rife with double standards, with the most noticeable being how we respond to “profile pics”.

… it is generally a recent shot of himself. No matter how good or how bad it looks, his male friends are now officially free to seek out and employ the most punishing insults they might find. At that point the contest is on, and each respondent attempts to top the last.

They know he will not protest. And NOT because men aren’t vain… cause frankly guys invented the weight room with mirrored walls. No, he won’t protest because the day will come when his tormentors post a new pic. He wants to reserve the right to exact revenge, and pleading for mercy now would forever disqualify him.

His female friends will as a general rule tend to follow the etiquette reserved for female profile pics, unless they choose not to, or have at any point in their life been married to him.

walking-dead-zombieIF A GIRL PUTS UP A NEW PROFILE PIC
For starters it is seldom a new pic of herself. Unless your friends list doubles as the starting lineup for the Cowboy Cheerleaders, the profile pic is more likely to be a puppy or an adorable kitten, or a favored child/grand-child. Her profile pic is a lot more likely to tell you who is in her will than what she currently looks like. It really doesn’t matter that the guys on her list have also aged, and now look like 30 miles of bad road. It’s the principle of the matter.

Other times when she doesn’t use a current pic, she will substitute one from her wedding day, high school drill team, or the 10 minutes in 1979 when she was at her target weight. Today she not only still has that figure; she may have even doubled it. You will not ever know this, because so few use a current photo. People in Witness Protection are more likely to use their current pic than some girls.

RELATED TRIVIA: As a direct result of this tendency, the 2nd most common oral injury in America today is people biting their tongue to avoid saying “What happened?” when meeting a female Facebook friend. [The 1st most common oral injury happens to those who fail to bite their tongue.]

Anyway, in those rare instances where she does put up a current photo, there is a very strict protocol that must be followed. It is nothing new, it’s the same one we all heard from mom when we were little:
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.”

That’s the rule. There really are no true exceptions. It is immutable. To be clear…

• If the last time you saw makeup like that there were 10 people in a tiny car and circus music in the background… compliment her.

• If you haven’t seen a body like that since the scene behind Princess Leia when she’s in a 2 piece with a chain collar… compliment her.

• If it looks like a still photo from The Walking Dead… compliment her.

• If you saw a similar pic with a caption about 6 more weeks of winter… compliment her.

• If the photo might be evidence of Bigfoot’s existence… compliment her.

OK, there is ONE minor exception. The “cat call” rule. You may resort to innuendo or other semi-lewd statements normally reserved for guys in hardhats in large cities provided you really like the pic AND her husband and/or boyfriend fits any of the following:

A. Lives far away and hates travel
B. NOT ex-military / NFL / Martial Arts Instructor
C. Worried because you are on parole
D. Already hates you

You may also choose to temper this selection if she has a concealed carry permit and knows where you live. Outside of those criteria, the best bet is simply to play it safe and compliment her.

In the event that you ever commit a breach of the Facebook rules above, there is recourse. Your best bet is to change your own profile pic to a cute cat or puppy and move to a new address in another state. Otherwise, best of luck.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.


In Houston TX a woman has been convicted of murder for stabbing her boyfriend 25 times with 5 1/2“stiletto heels.

Though it is true the constitution is silent on the topic of heel length, the founders could not have envisioned a time when shoe technology would advance to this point. The development of easily carried lightweight but strong composite materials has enabled the big shoe industry to create extremely dangerous heels that were unforeseen in colonial times.

All over America, women are found in virtually any environment with these “Assault Shoes”. There is no law prohibiting it. You see them in the grocery store, theater, banks, and out on the street. And many women own dozens of pairs. Legally!

They store them openly in closets where minors might easily obtain them. There is no background check or waiting period before purchase, no limits on heel length, no age restrictions to keep them out of young hands. Girls may carry them into schools where YOUR children believe they are safe.

Nobody NEEDS 5 1/2” heels to hunt deer. They can only be used to kill PEOPLE. How many more must die because politicians fear the shoe lobby? Isn’t it time we adopted common sense measures to stop senseless proliferation of assault shoes?

If it saves just one life, is it not worth it?

Yes, I’m sure I’ll feel the wrath of the RW shoe nuts… but it had to be said!

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.