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MARCO RUBIO: “Bonsai!”

March 15, 2016

Watching Rubio speak today is just weird.

Seriously. It’s like watching a kamikaze pilot crawl into the cockpit while animatedly discussing plans for his big birthday party next week.


Honestly thought he’d drop out before getting stomped like a bug in his home state… but rumor has it the RNC promised him 72 virgins.

Don’t get me wrong, I know many politicians do their first run for pres knowing they won’t get it, but hoping it’ll build street cred. For example in this case it may give Marco a shot at a better prom date when he graduates next year.

Anyway, far as I’m concerned Marco is just one more guy that arrived in DC courtesy of a bus ticket paid for by the tea party and immediately conformed to the go-along-to-get-along mold of the people they were sent to replace. As such, if getting beat like a rented mule in his home state tonight crushes his future political prospects… at least something good will have come from the night.

Have a nice Bonsai run Marco. Game over.


I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.


Trophy Hunting, Cecil the Lion and other Shiny Objects

July 30, 2015

Texas-Trophy-Hunters-magazine-scanI do not trophy hunt.

There, I came out of the closet and admitted it. But that is pretty much the only way in which not being a trophy hunter in Texas is analogous to being gay, cause being gay IS actually allowed. Heck there’s a Texas Gay Rodeo Association where one can proudly win buckles and other manly prizes while being gay in Texas.

Meanwhile, non-sport-hunters in Texas are forced to not hunt in shadowy alleys and unsavory parts of town populated by meth addicts, child molesters and Democratic ex-congressmen.

There is no Texas Non-Trophy-Hunter Association that awards us prizes for being really good at not trophy hunting. We are by binding state law reduced to the status of social pariahs. At the weekly men’s meetings, we are only served at the children’s table and not allowed to talk.

It isn’t that I don’t hunt for fun because I don’t like meat, leather or fur either. My passion for meat knows few bounds, and I love leather and fur, especially on members of the opposite sex. Nor have I ever seen the movie Bambi, so no, I’m not worried I might shoot his mom. Besides, I’m almost positive I made jerky out of Bambi’s mom a long time ago anyway. [She was delicious.]

I just don’t do it cause it doesn’t seem like fun. If we armed the animals being hunted, THEN it’d at least be a competitive sport, but getting up at a time when I normally go to bed sucks. Cold weather sucks. And frankly I hate killing things I don’t need to kill. Hell, I hate killing things I DO need to kill.*

* Possible exception, copperheads. Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure they’ll never be extinct.

That said, trophy hunting IS a legal activity. I don’t get pissy about others doing it, it just isn’t my idea of a great time for the aforementioned reasons. I’m not going to go throw paint on hunters in the name of animal rights, because of several reasons… up to and including the fact they pretty much all have guns and I’d prefer a natural death at an old age without ever having been strapped across the hood of an F-250 and driven to a processor where I become sausage.

But even if I was assured they wouldn’t shoot me, I’m not throwing any stones at the guys. I am happy to consume what they bring back, and am aware that as a group they probably contribute more to the conservation of our wildlife and environment than all the Birkenstock wearing PETA protesters combined.

I will kill for food, but currently find it a helluvalot easier to go to Kroger for meat. Should a day come that is not the case, Bambi is toast. Until then, I’ll probably just hunt with a camera. [At a decent hour. While it is warm.]

Cecil the LionWhat I cannot for the life of me understand is guys that are so pissed that a lion named Cecil was killed, skinned and his head removed… when the same people defend Planned Parenthood calmly discussing similar procedures over lunch and joking about it.

I’m not even getting into the abortion discussion, I’m talking about the ghoulish behavior of turning human body parts into a product. If Joseph Mengele was a noted Democrat I guess you’d defend his work too? Pick a side, people. That’s just weird.

Last week nobody posting misty-eyed farewells to Cecil the Lion had heard of “Cecil the Lion”. Now they want to murder a dentist they’d never heard of in defense of a cat they’d never heard of. Just freakin insane.

For heaven’s sake, people, lay off the dentist. Don’t fall for every shiny thing the media puts in your path. There are just a helluvalot bigger problems in the world than a dead cat.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

Motive sought in Chattanooga Shooting

July 17, 2015

A Kuwaiti born young Muslim male named Mohammad Youssuf Abdulazeez, who blogged jihad flavored rhetoric, whose father was subject of a terrorism investigation… traveled to 2 military facilities 7 miles apart to murder 4 US Marines he’d never met.

The Media and FBI are just stumped trying to find a motive.

If a fat guy steals your ice cream… would you spend much time wondering about his motive?

Personally, I’m betting he was radicalized by the NRA.

Chattanooga shooting motive


I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

Why Stop with a Confederate Flag?

July 12, 2015

indian1Dear knuckle dragging haters in the native American community:

We WON the Indian wars you idiots. What warped desire to cling to ancient hatred makes you insist on “celebrating your heritage” with hateful symbols like warbonnets and period attire?

Isn’t it enough that you viciously scalped our ancestors, you uneducated clods. You kidnapped our women and children and tortured survivors, so cut the “this is my heritage” crap. Face it, you’re just illiterate scum that won’t accept things have changed.

blackhawk monumentIt’s high time we called a halt to your idiocy. Warbonnets and tomahawks don’t even belong in museums, you racist hicks. I vote we dig up your buried chiefs, and blow up that racist Crazy Horse monument. It’s the 21st century… time to tear down symbols of hatred like the 48ft tall statue of Chief Black Hawk, the one to Chief St Germain, the one to Osceola… Hell tear em all down.

By the way… how offensive is it our precious children are exposed to shows portraying an indian savage as a hero? I call for a ban of the Lone Ranger repeats. Better burn Last Mohican too. I mean heck… the hero in that is a savage murderer that killed lawful authorities.

indian3While we’re at it, let’s purge the military of hateful native American influences… Apache, Sioux and Blackhack helicopters come to mind. And why are there streets named after your tribes and warriors?

indian toyFrankly as a descendant of settlers I am offended. Did you know there are actually TOY indian tomahawks for sale on Ebay and at Walmart? Why is it necessary to rub salt in the wounds even now? In your sad little racist culture is something used to murder my forebears an appropriate children’s toy?

And let’s not forget you savages had wars in which the survivors on the other side were kept as slaves. That is what divides you from us (well, except for the century+ where we had slaves of our own).

As for history books… they should be cleaned with purifying fire. They just remind people of your atrocities. If you’re included in history it should only be to point out your atrocities. There’s nothing “brave” about trying to harm our ancestors. You were little more than un-American terrorists. Much like you are now.

This is America, dammit. Get with the program! You lost. Get over it.


The Tolerant People of the USA

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

If farmers acted like liberals…

July 10, 2015

By presidential executive action the USDA has been granted $1.2 million to enact a study on why Democrats never make a profit farming chickens.

It’s a mystery. :-)

coyote free zone

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

Fireworks Control vs Beer Control

July 10, 2015

Unless you’re beneath a rock you know a 22 year old died July 4 when he placed a “mortar” atop his head and it exploded. He was drinking at the time, though it may have merely been a coincidence. Right?

His mom is suing for controls on explosives. Cause ya know, who knew explosives might explode?

  • — Does the box mention it?
  • — How big is the font?
  • — Does it say NOT to launch from atop your cranial cavity?
  • — Are there guards keeping it from fitting on your head?

Before getting too rough on mom, consider she might have a point, albeit backwards. Should she sue Anhauser Busch for not having a warning that the product shouldn’t be consumed while playing with deadly explosives?

Granted if that suit won we’d need MUCH larger beer bottles for all the warnings needed.

  • — Do not operate motor vehicles, power tools, or trans-continental passenger jets.
  • — Avoid use while making life changing financial decisions.
  • — Not for use while considering matrimony.
  • — Product makes really bad ideas sound great.

Then again if we made separate bottles for men and women you could get more specific, with warnings such as:

  • — Men: Caution – Does NOT make you bullet proof or sexy.
  • — Girls: Warning – Promises heard during consumption may be intended to loosen your morals.

It’s a well known fact that men have gone to bars, picked up a 10, awakened with a weak 4. Yet nowhere on the bottle is there a warning about this. Women have similarly been duped into any number of regrettable decisions which may be directly attributed to the malicious refusal of big alcohol to provide sufficient labeling.

stupid warningJust some food for thought. Let’s face it… we are all tired of seeing wedding videos after the fact and discovering we were duped by a memory of “awesome dance moves”.

Someone has to pay for this.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

Memphis TN Boldly Responds to Charleston Shooting

July 9, 2015

Memphis ForrestIN THE NEWS
In response to a senseless shooting in a Charleston SC church, the city council in Memphis TN voted today to dig up a guy that’s been dead for over a century.

Good to know they’re addressing this with meaningful measures. No doubt the people of Charleston will breathe much easier now.


No word yet whether this will affect the Generals ability to continue voting in Democratic primaries.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

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