Today while visiting with the women of The View, the president killed and ate a black child selected at random from the audience on live television. *
In response, Whoopi Goldberg remarked how nice it must be for Michelle to have a husband who can prepare his own meals, and added that Mitt Romney would undoubtedly have slaves do this for him. Joy Behar mentioned how fit and trim the president looked, then slipped him a pair of panties on which she’d hastily scrawled her phone number.
White House spokesmen continue to deny the televised event happened at all, but privately state that if it actually had happened it was no doubt caused by a do-nothing congress and the failed policies of the previous administration. Spokesman Jay Carney added that if such an event were to occur the details would clearly be protected by executive privilege.
Though most appear to be willing to accept the explanation, the incident is tentatively being blamed for the president’s precipitous drop to a 95% approval rating among black Americans.
*NOTE: This is satire, not news. The difference between this site and mainstream media… we acknowledge that there is a difference.
Gotta love the news…
They’ll report total BS without fact-checking, and then turn around and refer to someone caught red-handed in the act of shooting people on camera as “the alleged gunman”. It’s one thing to be cautious about accusing people of stuff, but seriously now.
Just heard a report a minute ago where they were reporting on fire fatalities and said there was one victim… “believed to be a child”.
That of course is tragically horrific news, but the caution struck me as odd. Couldn’t help wondering why that was an issue to be careful about. Are they thinking the heat might have shrunk an adult, or do they plan to check for missing midgets before committing?
I dunno, just wish they’d make up their minds sometimes.
They spent weeks showing us pictures of an angelic 11 year old Trayvon Martin, letting people wonder how this cute little youngster could possibly have been viewed as a threat. Turned out the real guy was 6’3 or so and the photos left out roughly a third of his age. Even when current pics became available the public was shown the more flattering childhood photos instead.
The news didn’t seem to mind the disparity between reality and the perception they peddled, and ended up leaving the impression at least in my mind that it was a deliberate effort to shape public opinion rather than just report. I don’t pretend I see inside the mind of George Zimmerman, but I do think the news needs to avoid intentionally poisoning the well.
Just report the news, guys. We can make our own decisions. Really.
I got an email labeled “Self Defense” this week from my brother-in-law Michael… a Naval Academy grad who served his country two tours in Viet Nam. It started with a narrative of a guy being awakened by intruders in his own home. The man grabbed a shotgun and went out to see who the heck broke into his house and was soon face-to-face with two men in the dark… one wielding some crowbar-like weapon and coming at him.
The homeowner did the only thing he should have done, and let loose with the scattergun inside his own home. Both intruders went down, one died.
I immediately recognized the story as that of Tony Martin when the text turned to discussing how the owner was subsequently vilified in the press and the intruders, both of whom had a criminal history, were treated as lovable rogues who were mistreated by a vengeful old man who snuffed one out in the prime of young manhood and caused irreparable damage to the other by his unconscionable action.
The true story occurred in the UK, where gun laws slowly crept to the point to where there are just not very many legal ways to use them for self-defense. Granted, had the man NOT had the shotgun he’d have been in the news too (as a death statistic most likely), but in the true tale he was sentenced to life in prison.
How Did We Get Here
Slowly. That’s how. It CAN happen in the US too, despite the fact that our 2nd amendment was put there to eliminate the possibility. You cannot read the writings of Thomas Jefferson without agreeing that he felt the 2nd was there to enable us defend ourselves jointly and individually from whatever danger confronted us, including all forms of two-legged predators.
His writings included statements that an armed populace is a hedge against a tyranical government, and that laws disarming citizens only assured criminals of a safer working environment because those that’d break the law to hurt you would certainly break the laws saying they couldnt have firearms… whereas law-abiding citizens would be by definition disarmed under that circumstance.
“The laws that forbid the carrying of arms are laws of such a nature. They disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes….Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man.
Thomas Jefferson’s “Commonplace Book,” 1774-1776, quoting Cesare Beccaria’s of “On Crimes and Punishment”
Yep… TJ was the guy that wrote the statement that is the basis for “When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.” Next time you call the guys in the NRA “gun-nuts”… try to recall they are in rather auspicious company.
Some will say that times have changed and the constitution must change with them. Well, for starters… if you believe that, then try changing the constitution, not writing laws that are in direct contradiction to it. “Shall NOT be infringed” has meaning. If you don’t like that part of the constitution, change it by legal means if you can.
Fine, You can Have a Flintlock ONLY
Gotta love that argument that says the 2nd should only apply to guns in existence at the time the constitution was written. Really? If so, are you prepared to only apply the first amendment to handset type… or would you assume it also covers the internet, newspapers, radio, television, etc…?
Most anti-gun people have to do cerebral contortions worthy of an Olympic gymnast to try to make their arguments seem cogent, but the simple fact is they try to interpret every amendment as broadly as possible UNTIL they talk of the 2nd… then suddenly things are different.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think those that want stringent gun control are *intentionally* disingenuous… I think they are a product of their times, as I am. I was raised by the WW2 generation. The men that affected my life HAD to carry a gun in their early days and it was the only thing between them and survival.
They knew it only performed on command, they were familiar with it, they knew it was a tool for survival. A huge portion of our country was involved in WW2, and their progeny were raised knowing the value of a firearm in keeping ones life.
The crop of adults coming into the world next were raised not by the guys that saved the world from the Axis powers… but by a generation much of whom spent their formative years dodging the draft and or protesting against it during the Viet Nam era. Their parents mostly did not go to war, they argued about it.
Where my parents grew up in a nation largely rural by nature and gun-friendly by design… the new crew grew up with little positive contact with guns. Guns were what criminals used and police had them to fight criminals. The end. Normal people just didnt own them.
Pardon me for not feeling their pain, but the simple fact is their perceptions that guns are evil do not change my constitutionally protected right to bear arms. In truth they are lucky the rest of us exist, because guys that’d do a home breakin don’t know which house I live in and which one they do.
How Does That Work in Reality?
Test it if you like. Put up a sign on your house that says “gun free zone”. Have a neighbor put up one that says “Protected by Smith and Wesson”. If one of them is gonna be subject to a home invasion… it aint gonna be the second one. People that do that sort of thing prefer NOT to get shot. Just works that way.
The media (whether we’re talking news media or entertainment) is also extremely anti-gun… for reasons we can only guess at. Their story is that it is because they are intellectually superior… though I personally consider Thomas Jefferson a helluvalot smarter than Rosey O’Donnell and her ilk.
If More Guns Cause Crime… Do More Spoons Cause Obesity?
Oddly that particular bastion of anti-gun fervor has her own armed bodyguard, and even if you ignore the hypocrisy (oh, it’s ok if somebody ELSE pulls the trigger to keep you safe) and accept the premise of her arguments about guns… you’d have to also accept that the answer to her obesity issues would be to outlaw spoons.
The effect of a media drenched society in which virtually everyone with an outlet to speak thinks guns are evil is that hordes of impressionable minds are led to believe people like Thomas Jefferson either didnt think firearms were appropriate or else the times have changed and NOW we have the police to protect us.
911 – A Great Way to Find the Victim
Police with any integrity will tell you that they cant possibly protect each and every individual. Most I’ve spoken to have taught their own spouse to fire a gun and have one in their home for self-defense. I’d also posit that it is intellectually dishonest to suggest that somehow you think you are clean if you call somebody *else* with a gun to accomplish what is necessary for your own defense.
There’s nothing wrong with calling 911…
But I’d suggest that in a home invasion scenario it’s highest and best use is to get the police there to remove a bleeding criminal from my carpet… not to find my own corpse. It’s my house. If the sumbitch wanted to live he shoulda knocked on the door like everyone else. Sorry, I have no compassion on that score.
You’re just a “gun nut” (aka: My Own Experience)
Actually, I own over a dozen or so, but I have only drawn a gun on a human once in my life. I didnt fire it, but I did convince him not to stab the guy he had on the ground who was helpless and in danger of losing his life. Guns do not always have to be fired to save a life, they’re remarkably effective visual aids, but then stories where somebody *saves* a life without taking one just aren’t newsworthy.
My guess is the guy that was on the ground is happy I had a gun in my car that day, and the attacker that was subsequently arrested after being held at bay (with what he didnt know was an unloaded gun) is probably banging the drum to get handguns outta the clutches of the populace. If you’re anti-gun… remember, so is HE.
The Tony Martin story may have happened in the UK, but it isnt far away here. In the UK, laws restricting guns were passed incrementally over about an 80 year period. Licensing requirements made it easy to ID and confiscate the arms of legitimate owners who would be criminals if they didnt give up their arms when subsequent laws made them illegal. As such I absolutely oppose registration requirements… those only give a government a way to disarm law abiding citizens… and my constitutional rights are only protected by the constitution… not GRANTED by it.
If that sounds like an extreme position… bear in mind it is also a paraphrase of something said by Thomas Jefferson. I’m not the least bit shy in suggesting the architect of many documents building the strongest free nation in the world was smarter than any of the people currently running it.
Anyway, didnt plan to write a thesis… but those are the thoughts that come to mind on this day when we honor those that’ve donned the uniform to defend our nation and to aid those oppressed. To them I say thank you. Those home safely at peace owe that condition to those that put themselves in harm’s way on our behalf.
God bless each of you, past and present. Thank you for your service.
Suddenly “investigative” reporters (what a laugh) who never saw any reason to investigate the Bill Ayres association are determined to find out “the truth” about “Joe the Plumber“. Really? Why? This is NOT about him. Seriously. Ever heard the word “symbolism“? Look it up, it’s there.
News Flash: It Ain’t About HIM
You could prove Joe himself is actually a holdover spy from the Soviet Union era and it doesn’t change the effect. You may not know one, but as shown below, many in middle class America know their own “Joe the Plumber” in varying stages of his life trek. Here’s mine.
Try David the Plumber
If Biden thinks it is impossible to make 250k owning a plumbing business, he isn’t familiar with owners of successful trade businesses. I know one (his name is David, not Joe) that started out the hard way unclogging sinks and toilets at 2am, sleeping with one ear on an on-call system. He was frequently working in nastiness when his friends were warm and cozy in bed.
By the mid 1990s he’d grown the biz to where he was an administrator with 25 trucks, negotiating contracts with volume builders, doing nothing but rough-ins and installs on new builds for David Weekley, DR Horton, et al. If he was clearing $1000/mo per truck (he was one of my vendors, so yes, he was) he was easily making in excess $250k/yr on the business. The math isnt that hard.
He employs a lot of folks, and not only plumbers… but staff for administration, his dispatch personnel, and the lawyers and accountants and such that go with any growing business. He is the face of the wealthy within the middle class, and he got there the hard way. He’s the picture of the nose to the grindstone American success story.
That’s what the “Joe the Plumber” story is about
People that know successful tradesmen were suddenly able to put a face on the tax hike, and the face didnt just match “rich fatcats” on Wall Street like they thought. Prior to that many assumed the tax increases would only affect “them”, snobs they didnt like… and didn’t see it hitting “us”.
Suddenly it became obvious it’d also slam the nice guy that sponsors their kid’s T-Ball team every year. This story was never about “Joe” personally, just about who would get hit. That’s why the image resonated.
As for the media…
Now that you realize this isn’t really about him, you can leave Joe alone. Pardon him for daring to have aspirations of achieving the American dream without your express permission. As I said before, if Obama ever contracts an STD… I can think of a few newscasters who might wanna get a checkup.
Buy the Set, Play Along at Home
I see references and polls daily that lay blame for the mortgage crisis (it had many facets but basically boils down to policies and actions of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac) at the feet of George Bush personally and the GOP collectively.
Given my background I know better, and I’d find it amusing if it wasn’t probably the single biggest factor pushing the presidential election into the hands of the party most culpable for the problem.
The View Depends on Your Vantage Point
I don’t know what everyone else’s field of expertise is, but my Business degree is from the Dept of Finance and Real Estate. I’ve been in the real estate world in varying positions both corporate and entrepreneurial since the early 80s.
I didn’t just hear about this or get my facts on YouTube, I’ve studied it, I’ve lived it, as has my wife… one of many underwriters run off by Countrywide for trying to uphold the meager guidelines remaining. I’ve had a front row seat… only slightly more enviable than a nicely appointed cabin on the Titanic.
Wait… It WASN’T BUSH AND THE GOP?
Since in the short run it looks like they’re gonna take the blame I almost wish it was, but no, the problems we’ve got right now predate Bush. Not only was the bomb planted and the fuse lit long before, but every time his administration or party tried to defuse it, they were shot down by the Dems on the Hill. That’s documented fact, news clips from left or the right support it.
Even papers that love the DNC credited ’em with saving the virtuous Fannie and Freddie from those mean ole GOP fellas… and the Dems repeatedly went on record as saying there was no problem at Fannie/Freddie.
Everyone Gets an Opinion, but Facts are Facts
I’ve posted some clips in various places… but why bother… experts without portfolio don’t like pesky little things like facts. I’ll grant there were some GOP guys on the Hill that were bought and paid for too… but the mess is pretty clearly a result of the DNC getting their way on the topic. People can argue all they want (I’m getting tired of it myself), but I know better than blaming this one on Bush, and I figured out a long time ago trusting the talking heads on TV to be journalists is a wasted effort.
The Supreme Irony
Yes, this will probably be the factor that decides this election, and you probably arent gonna see the following quote a lot on TV… so I’ll put it here. McCain co-sponsored the Federal Housing Enterprise Regulatory Reform Act of 2005, an attempt to rein in the risks posed by Fannie and Freddie.
Quote: John McCain on Senate floor in ’05
I join as a co-sponsor of the Federal Housing Enterprise Regulatory Reform Act of 2005, S. 190, to underscore my support for quick passage of GSE regulatory reform legislation.
If Congress does not act, American taxpayers will continue to be exposed to the enormous risk that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac pose to the housing market, the overall financial system, and the economy as a whole.
I urge my colleagues to support swift action on this GSE reform legislation.
Rewarding the Guilty
That’s but one of many attempts by the GOP in the last 8 years to rein in Fannie/Freddie that died to a Congress controlled by the DNC and bought off by special interest money, but it’s funny that this one was co-sponsored by the guy taking the biggest media beating for the catastrophe he correctly predicted.
God Bless Our Media Watchdogs
Meanwhile those that watch only MSNBC and CNN and dont have serious years in the industry are pretty much never gonna hear the facts. Oh the media has plenty of time to engage in weighty discussions about whether Sarah Palin really can see Russia while washing dishes or does she have take a helicopter ride. That’s just super, cause I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I didn’t know the answer to that serious piece of investigative journalism.
Pardon me for pointing out, but Who Freakin Cares, you morons… now can we we talk about who REALLY caused the crisis that precipitated the single most expensive tax grab in the history of mankind for just a second or shall we go back to generating Trivial Pursuit questions about the governor of Alaska?
See No Evil / Hear No Evil… and That’s the News, goodnight.
Meanwhile most of the media seems fully prepared to ignore even the most glaring evidence about this finance crisis that doesn’t support their desired outcome of seeing the #2 recipient of money from those same interests, Barack Obama, become the #1 recipient of electoral votes in November.
Doesn’t say much for our system. Seeing the party that caused this profit politically from it is rich irony.
QUESTION 1: There are four candidates running, only two slots open. Much has been said about “the bridge to nowhere”. Two of the candidates voted FOR the “bridge to nowhere”… what were their names?
A – John McCain and Sarah Palin
B – Barrack Obama and Joe Biden
Answer: If you picked “A” you’ve been paying close attention to the news. If you picked “B” you’ve been paying attention to the facts.
RELATED FACTS: Obama and Biden both voted FOR the bridge to nowhere.McCain had vocally opposed the bridge, but did not vote. Palin is a governor and they do not vote on Congressional funding bills.
QUESTION 2: Much has been made about Republican failure to support Louisianna after hurricane Katrina. When Alaska’s “bridge to nowhere” was considered, Republican Tom Coburn offered an amendment with ONE purpose… divert those funds to rebuild bridges in Louisianna damaged by hurricane Katrina.
Which two current candidates voted AGAINST doing that?
A – John McCain and Sarah Palin
B – Barrack Obama and Joe Biden
ANSWER: If you said “A”, again you’ve seen media coverage, not the facts. The answer is “Obama and Biden“.
RELATED FACTS:Obama and Biden voted AGAINST diverting “bridge to nowhere” funds to bridges destroyed by Katrina. Don’t take my word… see the ROLE CALL VOTE on the Congressional website.
BULLSHIT! No way… If this was true we’d have heard !
Naah, gets buried by a media so in bed with Obama that if he got STDs they’d need a physical. Any negative story on Obama results in newscasters sticking fingers in their ears (or their head somewhere less savory).
Here’s a clip showing part of the story. The full text continues on to detail Bidens own spending skeletons (see link at bottom).
As the GOP continues a frenzied effort to buttress their pitiful GILF VP nomination, new allegations raise questions whether Sarah Palin is qualified to lead the country as have ALL vice presidents since at least John Nance Garner.
Breaking news found on http://www.Iwannahaveobamasbaby.com detail sensational allegations that Palin actually killed and devoured her first child during a slow day when she was mayor. Meanwhile a woman who attended 2nd grade with Palin has come forward to confess having given Palin answers on a key spelling quiz in 1971.
PRESS RESPONDS RESPONSIBLY
The press are treating these allegations carefully, MSNBC analyst Keith Olberman saying soberly that these are still as yet unverified rumors and…
…should not be given serious consideration until thoroughly investigated and/or the current story about her clubbing puppies then hacking their bodies with an axe quits getting headlines.
Meanwhile Brian Williams noted it is not news until HE says it’s news, and currently he’s far too busy researching links to the 9/11 highjackers who may have entered the country with passports typed on Palin’s laptop.
GOP MAKES PATHETIC CLAIMS OF BIAS
In answer to spurious charges of media bias, Katie Couric laughed and said the media is just doing their job.
The DNC has fielded a perfect Presidential candidate who has given us his word he’d be a good commander in chief. To be fair, we just want to make sure the VP for the other side can recite from memory the names of all in the military, can fly both jets and helicopters, and pass the Navy Seal physical.
Couric flashed a trademark grin, adjusted her Obama ’08 t-shirt, and left.
Chris Matthews was similarly dismissive…
“Our job is to report. There are many stories to check. Only yesterday there was a blog… Mooses_Against_Palin.comreporting she murdered her predecessor to become mayor.
Is it true? We can’t say yet, but when these stories pop up it raises the question whether the GOP really vetted her.”
Nora O’Donnel added… “The media treats both sides the same”. She then went on to cite numerous news articles questioning whether Obama could be President AND still raise his young children, or why as a working father he refuses to put his family first.
PRESS DEFENDS JUDICIOUS SELECTIONS
Meanwhile Campbell Brown said the media must make difficult calls on behalf of Americans to preserve the public trust, and if it came down between:
A Presidential hopeful whose first fundraiser was hosted by a guy who planted explosives in government buildings but walked on a technicality, or
A potential VP whose spouse got a DWI before many of todays voters were born
The obvious answer is you check out the second one.
We owe it to the people to do a thorough vetting, especially since the GOP failed to mention DWI-GATE when McCain introduced her.
We clearly don’t have a dog in this fight.
There aren’t any real quotes up there (those mighta been even more embarrassing)
I once purchased gas from Exxon just to get a tiger-tail key chain
I have no connection to the Palin campaign and have only searched for revealing pictures of her on Google once