Note to Tea Party: Why You Suck

There just nothing fun about being fiscally responsible
I mean seriously, it requires cutting programs we’d “like” to have, programs that “in a perfect world” would be cool. We’d all like to use the combined purse of the nation to make life better for those that need it.

Hint: It is NOT a Perfect World, and WE ARE BROKE
Not even just “broke”, we are massively in debt. We are to debt what the Germans are to beer and the Japanese to miniaturization. We are the poster child of debt… and going deeper into it every single minute that we don’t fix the deficit.

So for insisting we live within our means {thereby being the biggest buzzkill imaginable}, the left vilifies the Tea Party. Screw them for being the only one willing to be an adult and admit we aren’t bringing in too little revenue, we’re just overspending.

And though there’s no support for the allegation… they branded the Tea Party “racist”, because short of “child molester” the isn’t a more disparaging term in the US. Nobody says a thing about racism when a black president receives 93% of the  black vote… but the Tea Party is clearly racist simply because the guys that don’t like them need a good insult. Calling them “not fun” just wouldnt convey enough hatred.

Simply put, nobody likes THAT GUY
You know, the one that says “Hey guys, we don’t get any more beer cause we’re outta cash.” That isn’t the way to be popular. The popular thing to do is say, “Hey, I have this other guy’s Mastercard. Won’t cost us nuthin.” And no, we don’t just buy a round for our friends, we buy drinks for everyone in the bar that hates our guts, calling it foreign aid.

Every child prefers candy to vegetables
The Democrat’s target constituency is voting age adults with the personal discipline of a screaming toddler on a sugar-rush. It doesn’t matter that “free stuff” is not free {ie – someone must pay for it}, and it doesn’t matter that you can’t keep spending money you don’t have. Facts don’t matter to them, “wants” matter. “We are a wealthy country and  *should* be able to provide {insert item} to {insert victim group}.”

Romney lost to Santa
Our current administration promised the impossible… we were going to give away more, cut the deficit, and do it all by taxing the rich. Never mind if we could somehow tax the entire income of the rich the math wouldn’t work… people wanted to believe. Hope and Change. Yes We CAN!

Didn’t matter that he’d ignored the deficit his first term despite promising the same thing. At least he promised candy. That bastard Romney promised “jobs“… which when you think about it sounds suspiciously like “work“. What the hell was he thinking?

Pure and simple… the Democrats treated our country like ignorant children, and according to the numbers we’ve been given… over half the country proved them right.

So Tea Party… stick around the campus…
and we’ll call once we know we’re in trouble, but for now,we don’t want your nasty old “reality”. We’re gonna order another round and pretend this buzz can last forever. Chill bros. It’s all cool, and we’ll be 18 forever. Like, um, party on. We’ll learn how to balance a checkbook next week.

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.