Finally – the burning political questions

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
Of cabbages–and kings–
And why the sea is boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.”

The GOP Lives up to Their Promise (Finally)

I mean, for a while there it looked like this candidate selection process was gonna be a snooze. GOP hopefuls gathered at podiums and droned on about taxes, the economy, wasteful spending. Geeze. Do these lunkheads not know I can login to the Politics and Religion section of any webmaster forum and get definitive answers to that crap in a heartbeat?

So instead of wasting our valuable time pontificating about stuff nobody really cares about, c’mon, give us what we REALLY want.

Well, that wish has been answered

Because instead of blather about jobs and economic recovery, we finally get to the meaty stuff that millions of out of work underemployed Americans taxed so DC and their corporate buddies can line each others pockets TRULY care about… Herman Cain’s sexual proclivities and Mit Romneys religious convictions.

I for one spent the first several debates wondering why the hell nobody had the courage to ask Mit how many wives he *really* has… or whether Herman Cain might at some convention in the 90’s have hugged some delegate just a little too long for comfort. THESE are the burning questions that drive Americans to watch debates, and we will not go unfulfilled.

Frankly I’m a little disappointed

What are the most important guys in the election doing? Are the opposition researchers asleep at the wheel, cause as far as I can tell nobody has interviewed Cains high school prom date to find out if that uppity lech tried to cop a feel on the front porch. Nor does anybody appear to have checked Romney’s wallet for the Illuminati membership card that is bound to be there.

[They own everything ya know.]

Anyway, notwithstanding these minor failures to follow up…

At least they’ve done the appropriate thing and formed the traditional circular firing squad. Now instead of having to listen to meaningless drivel about economic issues we can watch accusations, counter-accusations, denials, and self-righteous bluster just as God intended. Let us all join as one to focus our ire on the only two guys in the room that have experience having to meet a payroll. If we concentrate on getting them to talk about sex and religion instead of that other boring crap maybe we can get yet another career politician into the office.

Better yet… maybe we can have four more years of bliss and prosperity under the benign largess of the offices current occupant.

Good show boys. For a bit there ya had us worried.