The Difference Between Liberals and Conservatives

RE: Forwarded Emails
OK, I’m constitutionally disposed against personally forwarding funny and/or thought provoking emails myself because I’m firmly aware that my sense of humor isn’t universally shared by my friends.

That said, if you read my blog… aside from already having questionable tastes, you’re also subject to being stuck seeing what I really think.

The following showed up in my inbox today, compliments of the lovely & talented Mr Watson. My contribution aside from posting it here is limited to formatting. Fwiw, here’s the difference between a Liberal and a Conservative laid out pretty clearly:

The Difference Between Liberals and Conservatives

  • If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
    If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
  • .

  • If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
    If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
  • .

  • If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
    If a liberal sees a foreign threat, he wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
  • .

  • If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
    If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
  • .

  • If a person of color is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
    Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
  • .

  • If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
    A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
  • .

  • If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
    Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
  • .

  • If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
    A liberal non-believer says he’s offended and wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
  • .

  • If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
    If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he’s in labor and then sues.
  • .

  • If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
    A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended”.
  • .
    If anyone on the same email list as myself is paying close attention, they might notice I removed the part about healthcare. That wasn’t an accident because I think our existing system is a clusterfuck of fraud, graft, and ridiculous lawsuits that drive costs thru the roof… but that’s a whole nuther post.

    I applaud those sincerely interested in fixing it, a group which unfortunately doesn’t include most in Congress. Expect them to talk a lot and do nothing to fix it, and you’re pretty safe.

    Meantime, the list above is IMO… pretty accurate
    I don’t worry a helluvalot about offending any friends of a liberal bent, because if they’re my friend, it’s a safe bet they already have a pretty tough skin and can accept a difference of opinion.

    If any of my friends on the other side of the spectrum are certain it doesn’t portray their views, then it’s entirely possible they aren’t who I’m talking about. It does however match what I’ve seen from many others, so… if the shoe fits…. :)

    I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
    I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.