Dear Facebook….

You’ve booted me for yet another transparently flimsy excuse. Apparently this time I tried to incite violence against my own little brother. Or so you say. Clearly you had reason to silence me to avoid unnecessary violence. Right?

If that is “inciting violence”, why does Facebook offer multiple GIFs inciting violence?

Gosh. Almost like you had a different reason to ban me. Wasn’t because you want to silence those who tell truths you’d rather not hear, was it?

On that note, let me share a few truths that may raise your tender blood pressure.

UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTHS

1) There are 2 sexes: Yeah. Two. Quit saying you “follow the science” if you can’t pass high school biology. Gender is not just a social construct. If that is unclear, go try milking a bull. You’ll figure it out.

2) Jan 6 was not “a coup”: If the right wing decides to depose the clowns in DC, it won’t be done by sending an unarmed uncoordinated untrained leaderless rabble to clamber in clumsily to take nominal control of one DC office building where they’d commence to commit such atrocities as sitting with their feet on the desks.

3) Opposing CRT isn’t racist:  I understand screaming “racist” is what the left does anytime someone opposes their whims, but it’s not an argument.

Critical Race Theory is an attempt to senselessly demonize whites for sins others with similar skin committed even centuries ago. Opposing that is common sense.

4) Your “Covid Information” is not needed: On every post tangentially related to, you publish a link to your “information”. We were responsible for our own health before Facebook. We will continue to be when you inevitably become the next MySpace by pissing us off.

5) Psaki tattled on you: First you claim you aren’t targeting the left’s political opponents. Now the White House openly admits giving you marching orders on which to oust.

WHEN this comes back to haunt you, my friend, remember I told you so.

6) You CANNOT appease the leftwing: You THINK you can, and have gone out of your way to try by trying to silence opposing voices. In case you missed it, the White House just accused you of MURDER for not deleting opposing views fast enough for their tastes.

So basically you’ve pissed off the right by trying to silence us, and the left by not doing it entirely. So whether in the long run or the short, you’re in hot water.

I may never be as wealthy as you Zuckie, but at least I’ll never have to testify before Congress in a booster seat.

Have a nice day, sonny. :-)

Sexual Harassment!

HER: I want to lodge a harassment complaint.
HR REP: What is the nature of the offense?
HER: I caught Bob viewing a near nude picture of me online.
HR REP: Online? What site?
HER: Here it is.
HR REP: Ma’am, that’s Facebook.
HER: So? Does that make it OK to harass me?
HR REP: Not trying to belittle your problem… but have you considered NOT making it your profile picture?

I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

Fireworks Control vs Beer Control

Unless you’re beneath a rock you know a 22 year old died July 4 when he placed a “mortar” atop his head and it exploded. He was drinking at the time, though it may have merely been a coincidence. Right?

His mom is suing for controls on explosives. Cause ya know, who knew explosives might explode?

  • — Does the box mention it?
  • — How big is the font?
  • — Does it say NOT to launch from atop your cranial cavity?
  • — Are there guards keeping it from fitting on your head?

Before getting too rough on mom, consider she might have a point, albeit backwards. Should she sue Anhauser Busch for not having a warning that the product shouldn’t be consumed while playing with deadly explosives?

Granted if that suit won we’d need MUCH larger beer bottles for all the warnings needed.

  • — Do not operate motor vehicles, power tools, or trans-continental passenger jets.
  • — Avoid use while making life changing financial decisions.
  • — Not for use while considering matrimony.
  • — Product makes really bad ideas sound great.

Then again if we made separate bottles for men and women you could get more specific, with warnings such as:

  • — Men: Caution – Does NOT make you bullet proof or sexy.
  • — Girls: Warning – Promises heard during consumption may be intended to loosen your morals.

It’s a well known fact that men have gone to bars, picked up a 10, awakened with a weak 4. Yet nowhere on the bottle is there a warning about this. Women have similarly been duped into any number of regrettable decisions which may be directly attributed to the malicious refusal of big alcohol to provide sufficient labeling.

stupid warningJust some food for thought. Let’s face it… we are all tired of seeing wedding videos after the fact and discovering we were duped by a memory of “awesome dance moves”.

Someone has to pay for this.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

PC vs Humor: Lighten up folks… life’s too short as it is

Salon.com (hardly a bastion of right wing thought) recently posted about Seinfeld & other comedians condemning regimented PC “sensitivity“. It’s become so ingrained they avoid venues (like colleges) where it is more fashionable to hiss than laugh at jokes which fail to meet the ever growing “tolerance” rulebook.

blazingsaddlesThat incidentally is why movies like Blazing Saddles, which by any measure is dedicated to pointing and laughing AT narrow-minded bigots, not with them… couldn’t be made today.

That’s unfortunate, as it is probably the best movie in history at making bigotry and racism look totally stupid.

And for the record, it isn’t NEAR as funny watching it on PC-wary channels that bleep out non-PC words to avoid even the possibility someone might be offended.

monty-python-gay-drilling-260Similarly, the Monty Python show, which pushed a LOT of boundaries, had more gay jokes than virtually any show then or now… in skits performed by a largely gay cast. It’s called “having a sense of humor“.

Heck, Foxworthy makes a living telling redneck jokes, which I find hilarious. Not IN SPITE of the fact many hit me, but because of it.

[And no, I do NOT date my cousins. Anymore.]

So how DID the land of the free turn into the land afraid to giggle? I feel sorry for kids growing up with this nonsense. They’ll miss a lot of fun.

They’ll also miss worthwhile lessons about REAL tolerance… not the kind that demands you censor yourself and others.  If you consider censorship even mildly related to tolerance, you might want to look the word up. You’re using it wrong.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

MSNBC: Photo of Jeffrey Williams Released

black baby graduationDateline MSNBC
Family releases photo of Jeffrey Williams, the child who confessed to accidentally shooting 2 Ferguson police officers.

Family points out that notwithstanding prior criminal convictions… “he a good boy who love his momma and gonna apply to Harvard soon as his ankle monitor comes off”.

Stated his mother, a single crack whore just trying to make a living in a world of white privilege… “I axe you, can’t accidently shooting a cop or two happen to anyone?”

Asked for comment, the president emphatically denies Jeffrey is one of his imaginary sons. Meanwhile, Ferguson protester Deray McKesson indicates his sources verify Mr Williams is secretly a member of the KKK.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

ETIQUETTE TIP #107

How not to be a Dick

 

ETIQUETTE TIP #107:
Remember, the obligation to be courteous shouldn’t stop in the workplace. For example, ladies, if offered a relaxing backrub, it’s annoying when you immediately assume it’s only offered as a prelude to sex.

In the same vein, it’s just rude to respond with a barrage of questions like “Who the hell are you” or “How did you get into my house?!”.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

Statistics Never Lie

statistics never lieGAME SAFETY SURVEY —–

* SURVEY OBJECTIVE:
Identify safe children’s games

* SURVEY QUESTION:
Is this game safe to play?

* POPULATION: 6 players

* SAMPLE SIZE: 83.33%

* RESULT: YES 
(100% concurrence of interviewees)

FINDING: Survey covers more than representative sample of population (1 player was unavailable for comment). After interviewing all available participants, we have overwhelming data to support conclusion the game is safe.

RECOMMENDATION: Recommend adoption in elementary schools as replacement for dangerous playground games.

NAME OF GAME: “Russian Roulette”

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.

White House Announces Improved Border Security

NATIONAL SECURITY NEWS
This morning the White House announced completion of a new ultra secure southern border fence, built at a cost of $3 trillion. Nancy Pelosi pronounced this as clear evidence of the president’s continued commitment to the safety of our homeland.

A $4 billion bid is underway to have the sign thereon translated into Arabic, Urdu, Pashto and Farsi.

border gate

The sign contract, secured by Barry’s Imaginary Son & Sons, is estimated for completion in June.

In Related News…
The president of Mexico filed a formal protest, saying such unwarranted and Draconian security measures might deny millions of central and south American children their right to unfettered access to the US education system.

I'm Rob Jones... and I approve this message.
I’m Rob Jones… and I approve this message.